The Country Life

 

Construction? At my house, down my lane?

No, that cannot be

What is that infernal racket then?

At this ungodly morning hour of 3?

 

I throw the curtain to the side

Wondering what I’ll find

A woodpecker hacks at an old tree

I’m kicking his behind!

 

Just then I hear a birdie sing

So clear and oh so near

Turning back into the living room

Into two beady eyes I peer

 

Oh no you don’t, you get outside

You belong out there!

How’d you get here anyway?

What’s going on around here?

 

Something trods upon my foot

A fast and furry beast

A chipmunk! Oh no not fast enough

The cat did have a feast

 

The dogs are down the basement now

Barking and running around

I call and call but they won’t come

Now what is it they have found?

 

I grab the broom and head downstairs

Trying to see where they are at

Yikes! No don’t throw that at me!

Stop attacking that poor bat!

 

I chase the bat, with broom in hand

Out the basement door

And hear a grumble from the woods

What? You mean there’s more?

 

A shadow moves beneath the moon

Its bulk is big and dark

A bear? You’ve got to be kidding me

Once again, the dogs do bark

 

I shut the door upon the beast

Good grief, I’ve had enough

Finally back to my routine

And my blessed coffee cup

 

Reviews

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The images this brings to mind! Sooo funny. I stayed once at a friends log cabin in North CA and it was awesome ... apart from the reality of huge great hairy spiders every night ... though where I lived we used to get the odd skunk and mountain lion in the yard ... I had an encounter in the middle of the night once with a skunk who came in through our kitty-door. That wasn't pretty either! This is a great read. Bethlynne.

[there is no more from m..]

what a grate poem :)

[Adrian K. Smith]

The chaotic humor of this piece brought a smile to this otherwise mopey suburbanite. As improbable as all of that happening at such a given moment, the reality of it happening over a period of time and your way with words treats us to a quick romp out in the country... from the safety offered by our computer desks and computer screens.

[Chad Wesley Allbrett]

Ah the peace and quit of the country!
This one was a lot of fun, and I liked it very much.

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Oh, how I miss life in the country! The peace and solitude! The wonderful utter lack of neighbors. The chance to kick back and relax for a change.

A wonderful story that captures country living very well. And, it made me laugh! Great work!

-Gabe

[Brenda Sue]

This is so very funny. I love it. Wonderfully penned. Great job.

[Blackbirdsong]

LOL love this and it's oh so true! I live in the country and let me tell you, there is nothing quite so lovely as planting an entire flower bed and having the deer eat it up down to the roots and then deposit a mountain of turds as my payment...we have chipmunks...they are cute until they burrow under your house, make nests and you can hear them scratching around all the time. We don't have bears here, but we have just about everything else...also some people in the country are nuts. One October one of our neighbors got in his pickup truck at 2 in the morning and decided to collect all the pumpkins had had out for Halloween. He got in the middle of our road and smashed them all there. My mom and I heard this awful sound and there is this grown man smashing pumpkins in the middle of the road.

The road was so full of pumpkin slime that the police had to come and close the road...we live on a hill and I'm sure sliding a down a hill at 50mph when its covered with pumpkin slime isn't a good idea...and so it goes.

Still I love it here...weird neighbors, woodpeckers and all :)

[logmein]

Youv'e convinced me to move deeper into the woods. At first I thought I was right with you, but the bear topped any of my list of intruders (thank goodness). I did have a cow stick her head through the bedroom window screen once...but no bear. I like the build up and how after all the excitement you just go back to your coffee. Your words reflect the feelings wonderfully

[Mystic Dreams]

I can see a Doctor Seuss kind of rhythm in this...it just keeps getting bigger and bigger! Did you have green eggs and ham with your coffee...lol.

Very funny and a great write.

Hugs, Mystic

[C.m.v]

I love this!!! This is cute and funny and original.....and very informative! lol I am one of those who wants to live in the middle of nowhere, in the woods, and I must confess, after reading this delightful poem, I want to even more now!!!
Awesome write..this made me smile. You did your job as a talented writer..you made me, the reader, feel an array of emotions as I read this...all happy! ;) Thanks!

[Celtic Cat]

oh my!! lmao over here!!! That's so great. Well, for us readers! lol Nope, haven't scared me from wanting to live in the woods yet... in fact, just makes me want it more!!! Yup, true nature and beast lover over here. : ) This poem is so great, it's fast paced, pulled me in from go, rhymes wonderfully, and is just such a treat to enjoy. Loved it. Um, now I feel like I should apologize for revelling in your thorns! lol Sorry.