Forever Free

 

He whispers all  the words

Her heart has longed to hear

So tempting and melodic

They seek to ease her fear

 

But she is no mere girl

Her will not dulled by youth

Those days have passed away

Now she lives by truth

 

This scene has played before

Too many times to track

Always ending in the pain

A kick, a fist, a crack

 

This time the script's rewritten

Her pride has found the will

To escape this constant madness

His violence she must still

 

There is no hesitation

Nor trembling of her hand

As she reaches for the shotgun

And prepares to make her stand

 

The blast echoes on the darkness

Her heart forgets to beat

She sees the now still body

Laying at her feet

 

The trial seems to last forever

A shameful past for all to see

No matter what the verdict

She is now forever free

Reviews

[Yvonne Heidt]

Laura, I can only repeat what I have said before on this poem. I love it.

"Laura - I have chills. Maybe because I KNOW exactly what this about! I love your brutal honesty in this piece.

"This time the script�s rewritten
Her pride has found the will
To escape this constant madness
His violence she must still"

I also loved the ending, where she is facing consequences but also knows that without a doubt - she is free from her nightmare.

This is powerful. Thank you!"

[Adrian K. Smith]

There are many stories of those words whispered after acts of violence, those promises made (later to be broken) and the declarations of love offered; yet they do not often provide the brevity of the brutality of the situation as has been done here.

Perhaps I am wobbling about out in left field, yet the nature of her freedom to me comes clearly across as an internal freedom. There must have been that sense that she felt she played a major role in all that had taken place, that she had allowed herself to be the victim, and that she must make the change for the change to take place.

The significance of his violent end cannot be lost as one regards the nature of violence that has taken place. There is the possibility that another means could have been found for her to make her stand. Yet at the same time, he would have remained the man he was.

She could not simply grow herself and leave this creature to prey upon another. Though the cost of her freedom may be high, the sacrifice made in obtaining that freedom, gives it a depth beyond the mere here and now...

[Celtic Cat]

Utterly fantastic! Oh my god. Why haven't I been keeping up with your poetry???? I'm such a slacker! You held me gripped tight throughout this piece. The line "A kick, a fist, a crack" was a good jolt in the right spot. Until then....I was just thinking it was another regular thang. But...nope. Violence. I'm so glad her will found it's way. And yes....whether locked up after sentencing or not....she is finally free. It's sad, because this does seem to be the only way to keep these sort of predators at bay, lest they show up with the shotgun first. Awesome write on a very tender/heavy topic. Kudos, kudos.

[Dezaraye]

This is such a chilling and powerful piece. You've woven this brilliantly and it has so much impact. My heart feels for her, you've written this just right.

[Michael X]

laura, this is powerful, riveting,
sad, wow, cuts straight to the heart,
a horrible situation for anyone to
have go through, a mind snapped by
the effects of abuse, the wording,
descriptiveness, as well as the
powerful story line is masterfully
expressed, the rhyme form is equally
impressive, peace, mike

[MsChief]

wow, that is so amazing. the flow of it and the story line both are great. I can somewhat empathize with "she".

[Kalliope [ u g l y b e ..]

Oh God.
I love it.
(I have always admired those who can write to such a strict rhyme and rhythm scheme. I consider myself a poet first and foremost, but I write in free verse, simply because things like this are a bit beyond me, they always sound forced.)

Anyways, your rhyming seemed almost effortless within this poem, it flowed well and you evoked the emotions so well. If you read some of my other poems (this is not a shameless plug I promise) you will see I have been in abusive relationships before. Obviosuly I have never taken such extreme measures to find my freedom, but I do know just how hard it is, just how much courage it takes to find the strength to do what you have to do.

I LOVE the last stanza. It gave me chills, the idea that no matter what happens to her, she considers herself free. It is a powerful and moving piece. Keep up the good work.

Char ox