a peace of mind

Today is just yesterday's tomorrow,

But a lot has changed throughout the years,

We've got kids crying, fitting, and putting their parents in sorrow,

As the media nests in their ears.

 

Everything is mumbo jumbo now,

With technology, politics, and sex anymore,

The world used to be peaeful,

Simple,

With nothing really to ignore.

 

Nowadays, we have computers for everything,

but what happened to before?!

Where kids were rarely obese

from playing outdoors!

 

What happened to family time,

Laughing and talking about their day,

While now people don't give a crap

About what to hear or what to say.

 

I don't like this world has become,

I want time to stand still!

Can't we enjoy what we have NOW

instead of going to the next big thrill?!

 

 

Reviews

[AngMae]

I completely agree with you! Technology is getting insane. I enjoyed this poem! :)

[AK]

That was very nice:)

[Miki]

This is a great piece of writing. It really captures what the world has become and what it is becoming today. If time could stand still for those of us who wished to slow the world down, human life might have been calmer and more peaceful. The world we know now is, indeed, too focused on the next big thrill. This is a work of art. :) Anything that you express in words with your thoughts and feelings in mind is always worth sharing. Just because your afraid someone might dislike something you've written, doesn't mean you should delete it. Show it to the world and be proud of what you've written! :D

-Mikayla W.

[13ReasonsWhy]

so so true... what happened to the world?... where are we now??

[Wren]

A lovely, pure poem that shows how our world is dramatically changing and how many of us don't care! it was written form the heart and amazed me. What a true, poem! Loved the first line:)

[Gail]

Thankyou for the reviwes, I do admit, it is by far not one of my best writings, I can make stuff that will make people's jaws drop. I just watched a movie one night and I noticed that all kids care about anymore is technology and themselves (God, I still can't word things right :P) Anyway, Sometimes I can't figure out the perfect words for a poem or stroy/. I have to read over it a few hundred times (lol) and rewrite it over and ver again until it's perfect. That night I wrote this poem, I didn't look over it and rewrite it, blah blah blah, so it turned out to be crap. Thankyou for your insight on the words "crap" and "sex" Summer, but I'm a "raw truth" kinda person, y'know what I'm saying? prolly not,lol. But anyway, my stories originally have a lot of cussing in them to give it some reality. I try not to do that on this website but a couple of them will pop up. Anyway, this next thing I'm gonna write will be a book, I'm not gonna have it done for a wile, but I'll keep making chapters (chapters might take a few days cuz I edit stuff alot) I'll be reviewing some of your writings! :)

[stars are far]

this was a nice piece .

[Miss Evans]

I like the sentiment behind it, but it doesn't flow for me. You should work on it, give it some kind of rhyme or meter to make it less choppy. Some of your sentences allude to the opposite of what they should (Where kids were rarely obese from playing outdoors).

Work on it, it'll be awesome.

[~Dragon X]

Like pretty much everyone else said, there are certain words that can be replaced with other certain words you mentioned in your poem :3
Ok, friend, allow me to brain wash you for a moment.
NEVER. DELETE. WRITING. NEVER. EVER. ....NEVER.
I really liked it! :D I can clearly see a lot of feeling went into making it. Oh, and peaceful was misspelled. you forgot the c. :3 Don't ever delete something you took the time to make! I've done that before, with drawing too, and I've regretted it later. O.o Well done, no deleting! :K

[~ Stefanie ~]

I absolutely agree with everything in Summer's review. Never delete your writing! All writing on here is unique to every individual and there are people out there that really appreciate it they just don't take the time to review. Just because no one reviews doesn't mean that the poem is not good. I personally really liked this piece. The message you expressed is definitely something worth mentioning and it is somehting i think about constantly. There are a few things here and there that nedd some 'tweaking' but they are easy fixes and I believe you can become even greater as you practice. Just keep posting and once you get noticed on here people will start to wait anxiously for your work :) Trust me, I know that from own personal experiences. :)
Once again this was a good piece! Keep at it!