A Square Balloon

I saw myself a square balloon

floating towards a full moon;

I wondered why it was square

when most balloons are quite round.

Though I did not dare to follow,

my feet began to lift off the ground.

Apparently I had no such say

in the matter, anyway...

I then began to spin round and round,

left and right and upside down.

Even so the balloon was always

in plain sight as she then began

to form into a roller coaster storm.

I could tell the days were numbered

and the lumbering panda bears below

seemed to have also become afloat;

the loose air from the square balloon

brought upon a snowstorm in late June.

I could tell that we were all doomed

unless I somehow found a way

to turn this storm into a sunny day.

I was not sure how I could

(although I knew that somehow I would)

because days like these aren’t forever

as long as you pull back time’s lever;

we see to it that we return to the day before

upon the sands of the penguin shore

where there is a wooden door...

where you may open it and see

that the square balloon in the sky

had actually been round all this time.

Reviews

[Philip Muls]

Brian, very nice piece with free flowing thought that I appreciate reading.

You speak of an underlying knowledge that somehow it will be ok. I recognize that feeling, I refer to my story Tipping Point.

Well done.

[dan]

Brian, Right off the bat...the idea of a square balloon is quite good, a great concept. And the rest of the piece is well written: EXCEPT FOR COMMAS. I don't want to criticize or edit your piece here. Please send a copy of this in a message to me and I will reply with my thoughts on editing the commas out of there. There are several places where a semi-colon would help in the separation of ideas. Your writing, your wordplay is really well done but the commas chop the ideas into small pieces instead of flowing freely.
Please don't let me discourage you. But I can't help but see that you have real talent for writing. Don't let that talent be stifled by misplaced punctuation. Please message me this write.
take care...dan

[.]

Another psychedelic write, Brian.

This new style of free flowing imagery is very interesting. The idea of a square balloon is quite unique. My original thinking was about looking outside the square, beyond the normal parameters of conformed thinking. The way the imagery piles one on top of the other gives me this impression. My only concern with such a style is that the uninformed reader might miss the whole point of the poem. Perhaps an author's note when writing like this would help the masses understand the thought process behind these types of writes.
I enjoyed it very much. Nicely worded and deft use of imagery.

[Brian M. Peeples]

Thanks for another wonderful review, my friend.
The reason I don't write notes or give an explanation is because I like for the reader to interpret their own meaning and use their own imagination to determine what the poem means. I only write the poem, but I like for the reader to use their imagination to understand and decipher the poem's true goal, and such. Imagination is key, and if everything is given to someone in a step-by-step method, then there will be no extra-thought, no free thinking. A linear line only goes straight for so long until it runs into a wall. But when a line that curves around the walls comes into play, that curvy line is the imaginative mind, so to speak. So, that is why I keep the meaning somewhat low key. Understanding the mind behind the work is great and all, but to understand the mind truly, one must first imagine as if their mind was the one that had created the piece. I value imagination to a great extent, so I wish for readers of mine to explore their own minds and imaginative thoughts and process my words in their own way, since not everyone is the same.

Thank you again for reviewing my work!