A Bird's Song

I dug a hole in the ground,

and buried my swollen heart,

and although the Sun was out,

and it was raining all around,

it never did grow into

this world’s beautiful art.

Not because it was broken,

and could not be fixed.

Or because the world laughed

at me, just for kicks.

And not because I’d died

whilst trying to reach

the pleasant sky.

It was because my heart

had been perfect all along.

Just right, all this time,

and I never knew, nor could

I believe it to be true,

or else I’d have lost my mind.

And inside the egg

that which I nest,

I am able to quietly rest,

and see to it that

I may eventually hatch

with the next batch

of baby chickadees,

as my heart may sprout

into a lovely giving tree,

and you see, I may

even sing on and about,

upon the branch of my heart,

as I have become the art

that I’d been wanting to see

since the beginning of

eternity’s first moon.

And within a dirt-covered

cocoon, an egg upon the branch

of my heart, my veins may

run dry, and as I die,

my heart may still grow,

and I hope you know

that this bird’s song

had been perfect all along,

within the galaxy’s

cosmic glow.

Reviews

[dan]

Brian, You have so much potential as a poet but sometimes you stretch just a bit too far trying to craft the PERFECT poem that you contradict things you write early in the piece with word play later on in the piece. I don't want you to get upset with me; it seems as though I'm always finding some fault with your work. But you DO have so much talent within you; if I didn't think that I would simply review the pieces you submit to me by saying, "Very nice piece. Keep up the good work," or something to that effect. I know when I send out rr's I WANT readers to point out my weaknesses because I KNOW I HAVE THEM!
Shorten this piece up a bit, take out some of the excess verbiage...you would have a lovely story-poem. Brian I am constructively critical of your work because I can see SO MUCH TALENT in a lot of the things you write. Please believe that! Don't ever get down on yourself after reading my critiques. Use them as motivation! Use the huge talent you DO have and above all, KEEP WRITING!!! take care...dan

[wordman]

well the song was perfect,and maybe the heart will live on
somewhere out there in the universe

[Emily]

Very nice poem!
Keep it up!!