A Passion's Uncertainty

The Sun does not rise,

rather it sits upon the evermore,

on the eve of tomorrow,

which is today.

A perilous shadow of yestereve,

though, clear as the clearest sea.

Its vision no longer fogs this

debacle of a reality,

that which has forgotten the now,

and the birth of pleasantries,

of passion, and of love.

I peer towards the stars,

into a far off timeless realm,

where I may never return

to this great old elm

that shelters me so kindly,

as I veer from the ship’s stern,

venturing off into that

which I deeply yearn.

The great, great unknown,

wherever that may be.

Though I am uncertain of thee,

perhaps this is my home,

my everlasting serenity.

This may at last be

my freedom, and liberty,

from an uncertain future.

Though, as you can see,

I am madly in love with you.

Are you in love with me?

Or perhaps, one day,

might you be?

Reviews

[dan]

Brian, Very well written with a few tiny missteps. The first four verses don't indicate at all that this is leading up to a plea of love...I'm sorry but it seems a bit forced. And I've mentioned this to you before, you ten to over-punctuate...commas mostly. I mention these minor flaws to you because for the most part your writing is so tight well-drawn. These aren't mortal errors, just blips on the radar screen. You already know that I love your writing so please continue to RR me? take care...dan

[Emily]

Such a great first stanza!
Keep it up!

[Ella]

Glad to see you have returned to making poetry. Very romantic piece I like the way you painted a picture with your words. Good job!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the need and the want of the poem.
"Though, as you can see,
I am madly in love with you.
Are you in love with me?
Or perhaps, one day,
might you be?"
I like the questions of love above. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[zaisham9393]

I loved the poem. Very sweet and romantic :).

Thanks for sharing :)

[ANTO]

Life pauses when we know that we love someone but we are unsure if it will be just another case of unrequited or if it will be "love served - love all"
I really related to the star gazing in this. A favourite pastime of mines.
Another great write Brian.

[Mercy Fae]

This is absolutely beautiful. I wish you luck in winning her heart

[Dajena]

I hope she says yes, for this poem has such soul into it, that makes every line beautiful.