Neverland

As you keep

reading

this,

you will

notice,

how insane

I am.

But I am

not entirely

out of the

ordinary,

as you know,

because I am

old, and

young.

As I fill

my lungs

with air,

I take-

great care

in telling you

that I am dying.

Maybe not

today, nor

tomorrow

but one day,

when I fall

I won’t be able

to stand up again.

And on that day,

my dearest

friend,

I ask you,

to take my hand

and see me off

to Neverland.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I believe all writers are insane.
"I ask you,
to take my hand
and see me off
to Neverland."
I need a trip to neverland. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[The Waterlily Pad]

Beautiful. You cannot help but feel intrigued by the madness and spiral of thoughts. No connection but all ends in a beautifully tailored way. No specific colour or meaning or moral to this poem but it still stimulates the mind with its open quirkiness- adore it!

[Emily]

I LOVE this poem!
It feels like you broke the 4th wall with the way you started it!
Keep it up!!

[Brian M. Peeples]

Haha I love that. "Broke the fourth wall."

[dan]

The fact that we all eventually get to whatever Neverland we deserve takes nothing away from the beautiful way you set the stage in the earlier stanzas to reach your deft ending. It is the WAY you built the piece to lead the reader to the conclusion that really stands out in this piece. My compliments! take care...dan

[micky]

excellent piece Brian :) I loved the ending

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yup...dyin...can relate to that. Well done, rating 100#

[wordman]

ahh ! we always need someone to watch and share that journey

[Stephen Scaggs]

As your about me says, your passion can definitely be felt in this poem. It feels like I'm reading a Hallmark card (that can be a good thing). However, I have to critique this because I don't really feel the connection between the first stanza and the last stanza. Though, I did love the structure of the poem very much. It ends in the third stanza kind of sad, but picks up on the fourth stanza with a lovely feeling.

Rating: 8.5