Tick-Tock

There is an old clock,

upon my crumbling wall

that shall remain until the end,

the end of my days,

my final fall

It ticks my finite life away

each day and every night

Tick-tock, tick-tock,

my life depends on that clock

to always tick; to always tock

But as I trudge along,

through the wintry blizzard,

the falling flakes of time

Following my fate as I watch,

as it passes right by...

Never to stop, never to end

Always on the eternal run,

though, never from one to ten,

but always ten to none

When there is nothing left

But as I make my way,

my way to the eternal spring

I shed my pain, I sing it away

I will be born anew, from all...

all of my buried wounds

Only to relive a similar fate

that which reverses the pain

once I make my final amends,

with what keeps me awake

every night, every day

Tick-tock, tick-tock,

the clock shall run out of sand

Maybe not today, nor the next,

but one day, one final moment

I will attempt my last escape,

from this scorched land...

Author's Note

There is a deeper meaning within this poem, hidden words within words; a puzzle for the mind, to guess the poem's true nature.

Reviews

[dan]

Brian, I believe that "this scorched land" represents the protagonist's life, looking back at all the events that constituted his life, all the joys and all the pain. The tick-tock is representative of time marching forward toward his inevitable death. He is not bitter nor totally happy with how his life has gone, but looks back and sees his series of ups and downs as being part of the grand scheme of things, all parts of a master plan. He is neither afraid of his approaching death nor looking forward to it...he is largely content with the course his life has taken. What he IS looking forward to is his rebirth, his reincarnation...his way to try again, avoiding the missteps he had taken and work on being a better version of himself. And I believe that his vision, "...I will be born anew..." carries with it a spiritual or religious rebirth, a closer connection to his God, his path of light. A terrific piece of writing, Brian. take care...dan

[Brian M. Peeples]

I loved this. You're partially correct, though. I'll give you a few hints. "An old clock, upon my crumbling wall" - How did people, before clocks were invented, tell time? And what "wall" does it sit upon, that 'crumbles' with time? I also mention the four seasons (they're discreetly placed there to make it seem like it's a different meaning. here's one: my final fall). The character in the poem seems to know when his death will be, plainly. And is hinting when it'll happen, in a way that it's hardly recognizable. You were very close. He may not necessarily commit suicide, as it doesn't say that. "attempt my last escape" could mean anything, not entirely him trying to escape his life, but rather as time dwindles down to his end, he will sleep for the very last time, making his escape from this "scorched land," which could mean anything. A scorched land is normally a hot desert-like region, but it can also mean a land of ruin and wreckage that people have caused. Or Summer (hint, hint). A lot of hidden meanings and whatnot. Thank you for reviewing and coming up with this thought! I'm happy that my writing intrigues people enough to want to solve my puzzles!

[dan]

Brian, I've saved this to my library favorites and will come back to it; I WILL figure out the puzzle (I hope). But one line really grabbed me: "...the falling flakes of time." I wrote a rather abstract piece called "quizzical consciousness" with a similar hidden meaning that uses similar words to this line. I will send you a read request as soon as I find it (I've already posted it on WC a while back). And I'm writing myself a note to look at this piece tomorrow, as I have a deadline to meet tonite. Thanks, and I'll send that along. Looking forward to cracking the code, so to speak. take care...dan

[Dani The Unreviewed]

To be honest, I've got no clue. I have a few guesses... 1. You feel trapped...in something that seemingly has no end, much like a circle, no end, no begining.
2. The passing of time is bothering you for some reason...?
sorry, no clue.

[MomzillaNC]

Very moving and well-penned. This one is impressive. The endless trickling away of this life lifting us to the eternal. Won't that be grand -- a truly boundless adventure? To break the bonds of this restraining, place and time-bound life…

[Vishuddha]

I believe in reincarnation. I believe in (most of) physics. I do not believe in perpetual motion machines or clocks that run on forever, except for one which is a wheel within a thousand other wheels. To "attempt my last escape" shows you are not yet ready. But, I digress.

Your poem is beautiful and well written. "all my buried wounds" is a wonderful phrase evoking the pains of life viewed from the other side of the grave.

[Moonlight]

Tell me... is this poem about how one has to live one's life which is full of struggles in the hope that someday, he shall get the fruit of his efforts...? The constant ticking of clock is a reminder that life is going on just like time is flowing by. Never stopping, never looking back...

But then that line about final escape.. is it about death..? I mean being freed from the eternal journey of struggles and hardships..? Let me know if I am close to what you had in mind...

Anyway, I loved the way you have written this poem. Very creative. :)

[Ally]

I tried to find the hidden meaning, but couldn't necessarily get there. I noticed you mentioned the wintry blizzard, but then you mentioned the scorched land. Suicide? Ha ha I don't know! Good job none the less, I found this incredibly intriguing! I love a good puzzle:)

[Cool Girl]

Yes, I like to write things like this. Meaning within meaning...so complicated. Sometimes I don't even know what it means:)

[Brian M. Peeples]

Thanks! You should try to interpret this poem in a message and tell me what you think the true meaning is. :)

[Cool Girl]

Maybe... :P

[Skai Rain]

This poem is so strong and wonderful! I don't even know what else to say, but I think it is my favourite by you. A lot of people fear that last grain of sand, while others just can't wait for it to show up. Kind of gives off the feeling of being anxious, yet sorrowful. Great work!

[Cambion]

Great poem, I identified with it. I especially like the last stanza. Thanks Brian.