waking up to reality

With a smile so wide I stare out into the blinding lights of a crowd of thousands. I couldn't be any happier. This is everything I ever wanted. Hearing my name shouted I know that this is what she would have wanted to, for me to be happy. I want to cry. I'm to emotional. I can't help it, but I got to keep those tears in. Are they tears of joy or happiness? Both. "Violet, pull yourself together!," I shout. I grab the microphone, "I just wanted to thank you all for being here, WOW, what a big crowd tonight, this all still feels like a dre---- *BEEEEP---- BEEEEP--- BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!* 

Looking through the slits in my eyes I carefully shield my eyes from the sunlight beaming on my mocha colored skin. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." I groaned. I finally get up after laying in my creaky bed for 10 minutes hearing shuffles from down stairs. Getting up is making me want to just fall right into my bed and go back to sleep but I know better. Education is everything... if you want to get somewhere in this world that is. The "Education" we are taught in school is really bullshit to just get money out us. NO. Let me correct myself.. not me, my parents. Well not my parents but my mom since shes the only thing I have.

 My dad, I think about it for a minute, he makes me cringe. Well anyways, if I had to describe him, hes just a self centered, s**t talker who is lost in his own world. I can't blame him though about the lost in your own world part because most of the time I hate reality unless it involves things I like to do. I try to stick to making myself happy by staying in my own little world. But on the other side, unlike my father, I know when to come back to reality. 

Mom on the other hand well she just doesnt seem to understand anything besides basic needs. 

 As I'm getting ready for prison, excuse me, I mean school, I slip on the most basic clothing I could find. A crew neck and skinny jeans. I hate my body. I'm too skinny but of course I know better not to complain even though I catch myself to late. I hate complaining because I know better, other people have it worse in this world and it will always be that way. I thank god that I have a roof over my head and a lovin-- well a tough loving family... I guess. 

When does my mind ever stop running. Never. Well atleast thats how I feel. Sleep you might say? Well thats just my get away. A place I can be myself... and be happy, sometimes. Making sure I got everything I finally get ready to walk out the door to walk the few blocks to school. High school isnt fun. The only fun thing about high school is the end. Where you waist 12 years giving your money to the goverment/ "Schools" all for a piece of paper with your name on it that says you wasted 12 years of your life. The only thing you learn from highschool is really to read, write, and meet some fucked up minded people and other students around your ages who don't seem to understand anything. It's almost like they were specifically made to f**k up in life. You can always tell the ones who wont make it far in life. 

It's raining. My favorite weather because I could sleep listening to it as it patters on the roof or windows. I snap back into reality, open my umbrella and slip in my earbuds ready to start another wasted day in subjects I studied to much of.