I remember

I remember the sound of that door locking 

and the tacky blue paint on the wall

The sound of everyone talking 

Oblivious to all...

all the things he was doing to me 

I remember it all like it was yesterday 

the way he pushed his body onto mine

I was just another one of his prey

And sadly 

Sadly everything that happened wasn't a dream

I remember how I felt feeling his hands roam my body

grouping my breasts

And how I had hoped that somebody

somebody would walk through that door

but no one did 

I remember sobbing as I felt his breath on my skin

when he kept pushing himself more and more on me

I kept asking myself when

When will someone come find me 

but in reality no one did

I remember telling myself I needed to do something

I needed to fight back and break free

I started punching and kicking 

And suddenly he fell to the floor

and I escaped

For many years that night traumatized me 

I tried suppressing that day from my memory 

but my mind just wouldn't let me be

terrorizing me in my sleep 

why can't I for once put it behind me 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I have a feeling this is a true story becuz it’s written like only a true victim could describe it. I’m sorry this happened to you & I’m sorry for all the ensuing issues this brought into your life, from this point onward. I’m almost 62 & I still have bad issues resulting from regular raping in my childhood. I’m a well-balanced person & I’ve healed from everything, but it never stops being part of who I am & how I relate to people & the world. The best we can do is to make peace with this damaged part of ourselves & not try to banish it from our lives. I’ve told myself that I am a better person becuz of my healing journey, so I’ll take this broken stuff as being part of my heritage. Back to your poem . . . so well written, such personal details shared in a somewhat shy way, showing us how it felt on the inside & the outside. You are a victor, rather than a victim, becuz you fought back! I never fought back, so I hated myself for being so weak, blamed myself for seemingly “accepting” this treatment. It’s damaging no matter how it happens, but at least you have the self-esteem of knowing you’re a natural-born fighter and you defended yourself in a brave way! Your poem is really a beautiful poem, even tho the topic is not beautiful. You wrote it in a beautiful way, to honor your broken parts (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

this is brilliant yet sad, tragic that this happened to you and you try to forget but cant, I am so sorry that this happened to you and hope that by writing will free your soul day by day from this trauma you had. thanks for entering this into my happy or saddest competition, good luck, well written, very moving piece, xx