Sanctuary

Laying in a canoe on a lake

With the waves slowly bobbing up and down

Splashing upon the side of the long water craft like soft lullabies

The sky above rolls lazily with the beauty of each white cloud

With blueness hidden behind it like a little secret within the truth

The wind, as it passes by, rustles my hair

Like fingers slowly playing with each curly strand

Off into the distance the voices of trees in that wind speak out

Reminding me of the earth that’s still around

Have I found my peace?

Have I found my heaven?

Upon the water

With the waves slowly bobbing me up and down

With the wind rustling my hair

With the white clouds rolling by

Have I found my true sanctuary?

Then, I open my eyes

I’m in my class with all the noise

All the gossip

All the drama

And I start to come out of it

Realizing that it was just another memory

Of that one great summer

A summer of sanctuary.

 

Reviews

[The Mad Prophet]

nice. You seem to have gotten lost in a place of comfort. I have a few places like that, that I enjoy going to. nice poem.

[Kerri[pollutes]]

ahh I know how that feels
but, my summer of sanctuary is thankfully now :]

i really love how you describe
'Splashing upon the side of the long water craft like soft lullabies'

great write :]

[Tanner]

I really liked the descriptive text and smooth flow of the poem...but I didn't really like the last part. I don't know why. I guess it just kinda...interrupted the peace of it. Which is I guess what you were aiming for. But I liked it overall!

You've captured the mood and essence of that memory excellently here. I love the childlike innocence and purity that words such as "blueness" and "lullaby" conveys, and the long lines create a languid, relaxing feel to the first part that contrasts with the short, staccato notes of the classroom. I also like the way you personified the wind and the trees, yet relegated the conversation in the classroom to the ambiguous "noise" as though it's not as real or human as the memory.

This really is a supurb example of illustrative poetry, and it's definately earnt a place in my library =).

[[untitled]]

It is so much more that just a memory............for as you said it is with you always. And you have a natural ability to bring to mind beautiful scenes, places to go, places that you may feel a need to go.