I sink deeper

I sink deeper…down…

 

down…

 

tugged down

           against

                                   jarring

           rocks

 

flailing ~ fighting against this quick sand…

NO! NOTHING!

Nothing will keep me down!

I rage against the smothering grains of mind

failing ~ biting onwards I take my stand…

 

Jagged wrenching

scrapes my skin raw,

bleeding ~stinging…

I hear a “ping”…

Oh yes…Of course!

I let go and slow myself down

and come out to the other side

to see the wonder that the world always was...

now that I have let it be~

 

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

This one brought back memories for me. It was a private sunny beach in Bermuda. The ocean was deceivingly calm till I hit the rip tide. Jagged rocks awaited me. Sure of the imminent death I prayed and swam against it for what felt like forever. It was a breathtaking beach, but never did I go back there. I like the message you deliver in this poem.

[justjenn_2u]

Instead of fighting against the grain, you let go and let the world be what its. I like the format of this poem, gives a feeling of a struggle.

Nice write!

[Gary H]

I enjoyed the images of the dangerous waters of life. Having lived near the sea for many years the scraping, bleeding, stinging, really make my teeth feel on edge. I've sunk in sand and know how that feels and fallen from rocks - both times alone when I was maybe four or five years old and the memory still lives with me.

I know you are using metaphoric ideas here and I think you have written this really well. My thought is that these images are going through your mind whilst you are gazing into a microwave oven watching food being cooked. The world around you is descending into madness then the 'ping' is snaps you out of your thoughts and back to reality. Sorry for my lack of imagination here but the poem reminded me of such an idea.

[Mr. Lopez]

I see in this a stuggle for answers to life's battles but more so the strength that it takes to survive the trials of our lives. We will always be put to the test. Study your soul's purpose and give strength to one's self to assure that you too will come through. Great writing.