"Nights Such as These"

more insomnia ramblings...

 

 

 

"Nights Such as These"

 

 

How many nights, do you suppose

      that I will have to wrestle these tangled blankets

               of dreams alone?

How many times must I rearrange these thoughts,

        like my pillows, that I can never situate

                quite right, so I can actually fall asleep?

 

Then there are nights like these,

        where I finally fall off to sleep ~only to wake up again

               in the middle of my tossing and turning...

                       trying to calm my yearning,

                              so I am able to get up the next day

and do it all over again

                       ...and maybe

just maybe, keep my job.

 

I suppose I could submit myself to the octopus hands

that constantly claw at a piece of my soul...

fan myself with those who just want to straighten my sheets out for me...

or give up entirely and just become a monk or priest.

 

But... 

I like my soul and I like me,

though I know there is always room to grow...

I like to do things together with equality,

and I am stubborn, so I  don't like to be controlled.

 

I have been alone for almost 5 years,

so I have proven to myself  

that this is the right way for me. 

 

  

 

There is a fine line between Need and Needy,

and over that line just won't do to say the least.

 

So,

I will

go on questioning myself,

and wrestling the darkness and tangled blankets alone...

I will

go on repositioning the pillows

and laying down with these thoughts in search of dreams...

I will

go on offering up these torn pieces of myself

to the universe in hopes that I can finally go back to sleep...

 

It is my own damn fault, I know...

and I am ok with that really,

because through this process

I will find my reality...

the Some kind of wonderful will be worth all of this

...someday

and there will not ever again be

nights such as these.

 

 

Movie Quote:

 

"I would rather be alone for the right reasons,

than together for the wrong."

~Some Kind of Wonderful

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Tania Leigh]

I love that you lent tangibility to the intangibles to bring them to life....this is a great piece that I've no doubt many people can relate to...sleepless nights, questioning yourself, longing for something you haven't yet found....and when you do, will it be right for you?

A great read!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Wonderful lesson...'Solitude' is a poem I wrote that has a similar thought process as you have expressed here. It is better to be alone than to be in a situation that is not good for you. Revel in these moments of sweet solitude - you may long for them later. Great write.
Light,
Siddartha

[oneZtwoLLs]

You have a way with weaving thoughts into words. Good write.