If Only

Tried writing some fun free verse given the title.

If Only

If only my teacher had listened when

I told her that one day I’d be famous.

I might even be king.

Alright, so it was only the school nativity play

But I did get to wear a crown.

If only I’d listened when my cub leader, Akela, told me

I’d go places !!

I thought he probably meant borstal or jail.

Well I suppose he was right in a way.

I went to jail a lot after a few doubles.

Playing Monopoly!

Enough of this nonsense,  I had ambition.

“Aim High . Shoot for the stars !” granddad always said.

I knew I was good at stuff.

“Brainy” mum often repeated.

I learned to do wheelies when I was 5,

Climb huge oak trees by the time I was 8,

And won a packet of f**s playing 3 card brag

Behind the school bike sheds in first year at High School.

 

I knew how to make money .

I loved ‘collecting’ apples from a neighbour’s garden

And then selling  them  down the road for a bob a bag.

Entre peneur ial    ,

I can’t say it properly but I think it means clever.

I was good with my feet too.

Skilful.   Keepy-ups, kicking, passing, shooting.

A scout from Manchester United

spotted me playing for my school team.

Must have impressed him because the next thing I knew

He’d signed me up to play for the Youth team there.

Then it was the Reserves until

I finally made my first team debut,

Scoring the winner against Chelsea

From a pass by Bobby Charlton in front of 50,000

hysterical fans all chanting my name !

I’m convinced I would have gone on to play for England

But knee ligament damage put paid to that .

Only 24, I was...

I couldn’t run fast or far after that.

 

But I found a new interest...

Rifle shooting! Yes, I know what you’re thinking,

But I didn’t try to get revenge on Mr. Evans

for showing me up in front of the school in 5^th form !

Clay pigeon shooting was great fun.

I even won 2^nd prize in my first competition, a clay pigeon !

Became so good that I was chosen for the Olympics, where I won gold, one of my proudest moments.

Then one day a friend invited me to her

Local   amateur dramatics  society.

Didn’t  really know what to expect.

Only went along ‘cause I fancied her !

Anyway they gave me a part straight away ,

I played the part of Bottom in Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Yes, a small part.... but a start.

The audience loved it as well.

Rapturous  applause at the end.

I went on to bigger and better parts.

Little did I know ..

That a film director called Guy Hamilton was in the audience.

He came backstage after one of my performances

And offered me a small part in the next Bond movie, ‘Loaded’.

Living in Hollywood was amazing,

Meeting other movie stars, partying all night,

The glamour , autograph hunters, photoshoots , interviews.

 

So much had happened in my life

 I thought I’d write my autobiography, ‘Going Places’,

Which as everyone knows came out last year.

The first run sold out within weeks.

I’m on holiday at the moment on my yacht

Touring the tropical islands of the Pacific.

 

If only this had happened

And all this had been true !!

 

If only !

Author's Note

Given the title by small group, tried to write as though being brought up in UK in the 60s & 70s... Tried to make it humorous and hope this comes across. Wish I could have been more original though, especially with ending. Feedback welcome