REFUSE

I go from crying to smiling,

joy to pain

in the matter of minutes your words tearing me apart,

every syllable is like a sharp knife to my heart

repeatedly,

a grin of vengeance,

a scar unseen but felt,

inside screaming

How could you!

heart beating rapidly until death comes,

the last three words "I HATE YOU" killing me instantly.

I am the stillborn,

you didn't want me, I am more than what u made,

I am present to the living,

death was almost me,

my voice is more than noise,

my feet little but ready to step over the word

"MOTHER",

no questions just hurtful words,

don't touch me,

putting me out like a garbage bag,

I am not trash,

I am simply yours,

you didn't want me and still don't.     

Reviews

[J]

goodness -- this is not what i expected ..... i've not seen a poem from the perspective of the child, and it is stunningly heartbreaking. you have a heart brimming with unspoken imagination and despondency. you have found the right place, bri. you will find kindness and understanding here. i'm glad you came. keep writing. ;)

[roarke]

reality.
raw.
this is a tough one for anyone.
purpose?
the pain is felt, shared, recognized, realized, .... then where do we go?

I don't think I've ever read much better. but it's a double edged sword.
It's tangible, taut, and courageous.

I hope you are moving forward. You have the gift of talent to help you.

[Priscilla Sayers]

This poem hurts my heart! For a mother to even make her child feel unwanted is troubling. You poured your heart into this and it shows. It is a very passionate piece that breathes pain into the reader as if it were our own. Wonderfully wriiten and thank you for sharing such a sacred piece of yourself.

[Eagle Cruagh]

An incredible demonstration of outright despair.
Heartbreaking and sad.
This is written with emotion and heart,
but it should never have to be written.
We all need a closer feeling with loved ones.
Beautifully written.
---- Eagle Cruagh

[Poetic Beauty]

This piece is full of raw emotions and your word choices are strong and deliberate. You can feel the tension the pain and the longing to be accepted. The word mother should bring about feeling of comfort but many don't have that in life. This is well written and makes one think about how lucky they just maybe...

[Emily Rae]

such a raw work of art. i can feel your anger, rage, and sense of rejection bleeding out of this piece.

[TSelena]

tht was pretty damn good

[L.A.]

I really like this (: I can definitely feel all the emotions that were put into here, and I can totally relate.

[Distant horizons]

excellent write

[irishprincess]

wow thats really good its intense and sad and brilliant

[R J Askew]

This is powerful, intense, raw, immediate. There is profound sadness in such an unnatural denial of love to a child. I also read the poem thinking that the voice was a love inside a person, talking to the person who is trying to deny it. Either reading has a strong tang of rejection. But the first, literal reading, is the most moving because of the awful truth it contains.