Over the edge

I stood there for awhile

after she walked away

blue dress waving to me

as the wind of our relationship

said a silent goodbye

I crossed my arms

high up on that cliff's edge

watching the sun sink

and my world with it

I had to laugh at twilght

it brought so much more than darkness

more than stars

more than that half moon

It brough pity

poetry

song after song

it brought lonliness

cold

shadows

and hunger

I don't know how long I stood there

or why I stayed

Maybe it was because she didn't

I had to absorb everything

every ounce of what we had

she left everything at my feet

for me to pick up

and throw it out over

the sleeping city

in the middle of the night

to douse the world

with what used to be

and what they can all obtain

I wanted to sleep

to dream

to roll over in bed

put my arm around her

but I knew

that when I got home

she would not be there

I kept thinking

and thinking

asking myself so many questions

nothing mad sense

eventually I uncrossed my arms

put my hands in my pockets

kicked what she had left at my feet

out into the world

and laughed at the sunrise

in all it's shimmering glory

Reviews

[MrJodie]

Excellent progression, good timing. I also like the way that you moved back and forth between regret for the past and expected regret for the events yet to come. What strikes me most is your empathy with the rest of the world, that "city" that you're going to douse with all that she left behind.

As always, fantastic.

Oh, and there are two typos. A little OCD, that's me. =o)

[hannah]

Honest and straightforward in its beauty, your poem expresses heartache and the main thoughts involved with it. Your poem gives hope to readers that we can all rise up when we fall if only we choose to. Well done.

[Leah Simone]

Loved the comparison to kicking what was left behind out onto the sleeping city. You did a great job of conveying that sense of abandoned love - being the one who cherishes what the other doesn't feel is worth reviving....and when the other lets go - you have no choice really, but to walk away from the past into a future others claim will be bright, but you know will never shine.

[Brandon]

Nicely written man. Keep up the good work.

[Lloyd]

Great stuff, I really love to read poetry that has meaning without fluff or rhyme. Great read, lot of emotion, thanks.

[Wildfleour]

Bravo!

(By the way, we are practically neighbors!)