Things I think about

I can't help but to think about my childhood

and way it has affected me

and it made me so god damned paranoid

and so f*****g scared

I can't help but to think about about all my old addictions

how I still fight the monkey away

and how he sits on my front porch

handing me the mail everyday

How I still want to bake

and cook with pennies

just for one more taste

amonia had me by the balls

so I cut them off....so to speak

I can't help but to think of all the psychiatrists

and the pills they own my throat

and many nights with limp dick

because of those white coat m***********s

i couldn't even jerk off when I wanted to

so I medicated myself

helped numero uno out ya know

I can't help but to think of how I've aged

and how clean cut I am

getting an education

having been with the same girl for six years

ready to settle down

tie the knot

put that yellow ribbon around the old oak

have a couple kids

play the father figuire

throw the pigskin around outback with my son

or keep daddy's little girl away from teenage predators

These are the things I can't help but to think about

what kind of man will I be ten years from now

what will my children be like

How can I stop them from being who I was

or how I was

I'm just as scared now as I was then

but with different purpose

Tell me the world will stop spinning

so that I can remove all harm from it

Tell me my children will be kind

and make intelligent decisions

Tell me they will suffer no pain

and relax in hot tubs

far from the reaches of this city

Tell me I am still sane

tell me these thoughts are normal

 

Reviews

[trinityluv122]

Yes your thoughts are very normal, everybody thinks about those things, its called maturity and growing up.
My thoughts are very much like that, most people dont express their fears and anxiety, they numb them by self medicating or become obsessed with this, that or the other only to deny their true emotions out of fear and desperation.

[Angelic Darkness]

This poem was real, raw, and poems like this make
me feel, feel what the writer is feeling...thank you
for that. You did misspell a word: play the father figuire...figure.
We all have thoughts such as those you wrote about, especially
with the world the way it is today.