A Dream

These cheap sheets itch

and no matter how many sheep 

manifest on this spackled ceiling,

every single night, I am a sentinel.

Counting backwards from total 

loss to love's conception in a truck 

cab, on the parkway, stars 

can't undo this particular set of failures.

So i breathe deeply

in a way that shows 

i'm in way over my head,

but i'm wearing it well.

---------

One deliberate step takes my body over 

the canyons edge, chasing air towards the river, 

where the water may wash me clean,

but the fall will hurt like hell.

I don't have the strength to drag myself out 

and crawl up that cold, sharp rock again.  

I'd rather drown somewhere down stream

in the warm, still water of the lake.

And if clean hands try to save me,

I'll take them, and shake them.

Life is too short to be impolite

and too long to abide loneliness. 

One moment closer to sleeping in the water

as a broken man, but more solidly

climbing, slowly back up the canyon

just to walk off the edge.

Reviews

[Jimmy Yetts]

"Life is too short to be impolite." While certainly not axiomatic, it is a notion I like and wish more people would adopt.
Am also plagued by insomnia--though I often comfort myself with the thought that the inability to fall asleep is far less distressing than would be the inability to awaken.
Great write, Brett!

[Brett Moore]

That's a good point! haha

Thanks for the review!

[SilverFish]

I love this, so intense and longing.
What really hit me was:
"And if clean hands try to save me,
I'll take them, and shake them.
Life is too short to be impolite
and too long to abide loneliness."

(and I must apologize I am terrible at writing reviews)

[David Scott]

You won me over with this write Brett! I will hold you in high esteem if I never read anything else this phenomenal from you again...
I'm searching for words that sound as affirmative as my mind responded.
I get the emotion, but the context was a perfect blend of determination and resignation.
Three parts stood out best.

First, "Counting backwards...". I believed there was a total loss and not just an overreaction to normal setbacks. A pickup truck on the parkway is home to me. Great imagery.

Second, the stanza starting, "And if clean hands...", set a pendulum of balance.
I wanted to stop reading and reach into the page to offer my hand. Then I realized,one are not "clean".
You set a hard standard here... Yet you show a desire to be saved. Hope indears the reader to the story.

Lastly, the last stanza. Using every effort of your broken soul to climb ever higher to meet the ledge of this hard destiny.

I can't help but think, maybe at the top the view will reveal enough to change to outcome.
One of my favorite poems ever!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

And if clean hands try to save me,
I'll take them, and shake them.
Life is too short to be impolite
and too long to abide lonliness. --incredible stanza, my friend. I want to reach through the screen and shake your hands right now!

This was extremely well done. I can't find any flaws. The flow was great. The set-up and the separation of the sections was a clever idea, and you kept the flow and the feeling throughout. I sense loss and longing, but it is not overwhelming; the idea of sleep and dreaming still wins out. So well done, into my favorites.

[Brett Moore]

You are always so nice! Can we be best friends?! haha

Thank you for the kind words!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Of course :) I'll take all the friends I can get. You saw my poems about friends...they are all dead poets and dying fish, so an actual human being might be nice haha

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

What I really like about this, is that things get confuse, just like dreams. When I'm in that moment between sleep and still awake, there's these strange images rush through my head before I can fall into deep sleep. Your poems reminds me of this. Anyway, keep up the good writing

[Brett Moore]

I was just talking about this. My girlfriend lives 2000 miles away, on the beach, in paradise.. Jealousy aside, we Skype each other every night and when it gets late, as she starts falling asleep, she shares with me all the crazy scenarios and pictures that run through her head. Like super compact day dreams. They are all hilarious. Our brains are these wonderful machines that can transcend our bodies and take us any where, infinity. It's wild to think about.

Thank you for the kind words!

[Quill~]

I enjoyed reading your prose piece. The dream reveals hope for humanity, or perhaps it's love. Nicely done.

[Brett Moore]

It's love, always. The good, the bad and the ugly.

[Gobinder Singh Dhindsa]

Your writing is so Good. Well Done! Keep Writing Friend!

Do u read mine 2 "Why?, Who is a Poet"

If possible then give your reviews..

Regards,
Lucky