Life Without Butterflies

Imagine your life without butterflies.

Life without butterflies

How could one live without?

An emotion so immense; when eyes first meet

The acknowledgment of joy

When hearts start to skip off beat...

Without butterflies, how could one know?

That a stutter is a mere appreciation 

to a stranger unknown

With restless talk and filler words

A life without butterflies

It would be so hard to see

What's truly inside--

to define what you feel for me

How could words ever suffice?

To explain?

What butterflies do

I would have never known...

this immense emotion

What I feel for you

With butterflies I mustered up the strength

to let you know--

How much I love you.

Author's Note

I would love to here some criticism...good/bad
How about the gramar... I'm not very good at punctuation in creating effect but I would love to learn
Over all though what do you think? I never really shared my writing with anyone in fear of a let down but I have finally learned that with out the proper criticism I'll never learn

Reviews

[Kaylor Mason]

This is really wonderful. There's no feeling quite like the butterflies in you stomach, when you heart is racing and your knees weak. There's also nothing like those blessed days when you're walking in the woods alone on a sunny morning, and a monarch flutters down, lands in your palm and you raise him to eye level. He says "Hello," . . . then he flutters off . . . you've captured that effortless contentment really well in this piece. It's nice!

[Everett DeValle]

I enjoyed your analogy for butterfly for nervousness, and it is truly human nature of feel 'butterfly' when it comes to the emotions of Love. Nicely done.

[DrD]

There's a lot to like about you, Brenda. You're not afraid to dive into the abstract and bend it around to suit your theme. That's courage and creativity and all the good stuff. I like your Latina background because it puts fire in your soul and the words that pour out of it. Nadie puede conocer amor como una Latina! So all this says what? I want you to continue and the way to get where you want to be is to write, write, write and never be afraid to undress your heart while doing it.

[soliloquy]

I tried really hard to find something wrong...and couldnt. This sounds great...

You are a good writer.

[zainul]

Your courage to write and share is highly appreciated.
You are a lovely young butterfly who is trying to entertain the world.
You can improve the grammar and spelling over time.
But,you have great passion for writing.
Nurse it nicely.
The piece is wonderful
Keep on smiling!