Monday's were usually an overwhelming day for me. I would show up to school and be reminded by teachers about a test or project that was due that week. Of course, I was never prepared for them, and so I would spend my lunch hour in the school's Resource Centre catching up on missed assignments. If I was feeling productive that is. Sometimes I just left early to get high with Jess.
Then there were times where I was actually forced to spend my lunch period in the Resource Centre. Either as a form of punishment because I skipped a class, or because I missed a test, or was too behind in my assignments. Those days were the worst. I always paid for the days I skipped the previous week on my Mondays. My name was on a list with other students, and the staff would make sure we all attended if we were on that list. If you didn't, then you'd rack up even more detention time.
The Resource Centre lady, Mrs Bernaditis was always looking to be everyone's best friend and personal therapist. She would often offer her undesired advice to us students, and even held private little meetings in her office with us if she felt like we were heading down the “wrong path”. She did this with me a few times. Her eyes always gave off a look of deep concern. I don't know that my condition at this time of my life didn't warrant any kind of concern from adults and teachers etc, but there was no way she ever thought I was smoking weed or living on my own anyway. I think if she did know these things about me, she would have been much more forceful. But I was usually able to convince her that i was just lazy and tired, and didn't care about my school work. She never suspected anything greater than that. So for what she knew about me, her attitude just seemed insincere and annoying.
She tried to instill some kind of positive change in all of us. She liked to remind me that if I did all of my schoolwork on time, that I wouldn't need to spend my time in Resource. Obviously I knew this. She would stand over me sometimes and ask if i understood the work, or if she could help me with it. It was weird, because she never specialized in any subject. She was just the Resource lady. I understood the work anyway. I just didn't care about finishing it.
Eventually I just stopped going. I learned that no one could really make me. I was never in the mood to do my work at lunch time. I just wanted to get stoned and go for walks. I wanted to put my headphones in, and explore the suburban neighborhoods around my school. I wanted to be lost in my thoughts and my ideas.
The school's atmosphere only depressed me. The grim looking hallways, everyone's matching uniforms, the perfectly lined up desks in each classroom, and the stacks of hundreds of text books. I was always looking for an out. An escape. I sat by the window in class, staring out at the cold weather and the dead trees, wishing I could be anywhere but inside, at school.
So when Monday at school was finally over, I came home and threw my schoolwork aside, wherever it wasn't in the way. Then I got high. My anxiety would ease, and the guilt I felt for not keeping up with school would fade away. I'd lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling, or out the window and just think. I felt the most comfortable inside my head.
Staring out my window at the top of the stairs, I noticed two kids walk across the yard beside the river. It was Jefferson and Kelsi. I opened the window and snuck onto the roof without them noticing me. I called Christian out to do the same.
There were two pumpkins sitting outside on the roof, left over from Halloween. They were beginning to rot, and we had forgotten about them up until this point. We thought it'd be funny to surprise Jefferson and Kels by throwing our pumpkins off of the roof at them. They both hit the ground with a thud, and then exploded. One nearly hit Kelsi. They retaliated with small sticks lying around the fire pit.
It was pretty funny, until Wendy came outside from downstairs, screaming that she saw pumpkins “fly off the roof”. “I know it was you guys! Don't hide!” She yelled at us. Christian and I were laughing. We called down to her and waved, but she had a stern look on her face. She didn't think it was very funny at all.
“Clean this s**t up!” She yelled. Then she slammed her door shut, retreating back inside her basement apartment.
The four of us ceased our laughing and Christian and I went down to help clean up the mess. Perhaps Wendy felt we were being mean or destructive. Or maybe she was just having a bad day. After all, it was Monday, and Monday's are the worst.
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