Blazing heat of summer

yeah, it's Haiku

stabbing rays of heat

bruise the green grass to yellow,

oh poor, sweating grass.

Reviews

[Norah]

Short and nice, good job Latifa :)

[Christopher Robin]

Nice work Latifa, you're out to become a master of Japanese poetic styling! If you truly want to delve right into this style of art. I would research something called 'cadence'. In layman's terms (in regards to this structure of poetry) think of it as 'when would I take a breath in this sentence?'. It's a Haiku to be sure, yet your first and second lines are read together, the reason for the strict syllabic rules of Japanese poetry are to force cadence into poetry. It's their version of 'meter'. It's not right or wrong but if you want your poems to truly stand out, try to make each line a separate piece of a connected thought. Just think of pauses, beats etc. Reading this out aloud and placing stress on a different word each time is a good exercise to learn just how to make this perfect.

You're much further along than most English first language writers, well done!

-Robin

[Latifa]

thank you Robin, I always appreciate your reviews

[Anne Timmins]

This was a skilled write and the words used are a very good fit indeed

[Ruth]

Can seem that way...though heading into Autumn, I would like to see the sun stay lol Beautiful x

[Baby Ricochet]

The hottest place I've ever been was Kuwait. I swear it was hotter than Iraq. We would off load in Kuwait and train for Iraq for 6 weeks before rolling into Iraq. Kuwait was one scorching nowhere of a place.

[Latifa]

well I'm burning here in Alegria but I know the middle east is quite hot.

[Blake Fodor]

What a beautifully compiled piece

[Latifa]

thank you for the review

[Mayank]

the other side of grass that takes heat, its a darker side... and I love it.

[Latifa]

thank you for the review

[Zahra]

Beautiful haiku. very well penned

[Latifa]

thank you for the review

[John Anderson]

I really like your style. this poem is so beautifully expressed! the ending was just perfect. Great job!

[Latifa]

thank you for the review

[Alfred Kukitz]

I'm sure the grass felt like this was a nice water hose of empathy.