Reflection

The dusty attic is my retreat

The corner is my favorite seat

The droning lullaby with aromatic beat

Sleet, frozen frosting sleet

Is the conqueror of my retreat

The narrow moments hug my feet

I gaze and illuminations I meet

I open my heart to the worthy fleet

And adorn it like the royalty suite

Reviews

[Scott Mou]

This was well detailed, but the last line confuzzled me a bit. Could you elaborate?

[WestWriter]

Maybe it's just me, but I see a young homeless woman, still more girl than grown, who spends most of her time daydreaming until the bitter cold intervenes, starting at her feet and sweeping her away from her retreat. I do love the cadence, and the premise. As I said, I may be mistaken. But this one spoke to me, painted a vivid picture. This is just what I see. Well done.

[Latifa]

thank you west writer for the share of thought

[gombeggar]

very good beat 2 this and rhyme

[Ruth]

Sounds like a place known only to the self and at times needed, lovely piece x

[rutherford]

Sounds like a perfect retreat with memories to provide all that you need.

[Angel]

I enjoyed this. I love the consistency of the rhyme, the happy, innocence of it...
Excellent work.

[ValyrieKiennan]

Interest use of rhyme however I would argue that certain lines seem out of place. For example, the line about the "worthy fleet" seems to be at odds with the imagery in the rest of the piece. I understand the difficulty of creating a piece with consistently rhyming endings, so this is understandable. I would suggest possibly editing the surrounding lines so it produces a more cohesive poem overall!

Keep writing!

Cheers,

VK

[Leslie Philibert]

Not easy to put so many rhymes together, well done !

[Daniel Dougherty]

Fantastic wordplay. Lovely description on those who prefer a bit more quiet and are content with the small things of life. Good job.

[Mark]

I used to create places like this when I was young. Enjoyed :)