Bird Watching, Pt. 1

Bird-Watching, pt. 1

                        Note: the least tern is considered endangered in New Mexico and has been all but

wiped out completely in several parts of the state.

 

Wither the tern? The bird almost

Dead. The one that ate our worms and minnows.

The one that swarmed in bodies above our heads

At dusk. The bodies that danced and whirled.

The bodies of black stares and smoke-plumes.

 

Night is gone. Day scattered  and bodies broke,

skittering in the dust, in the tire ruts

Where the bird made its nest.

The bird we would not live with.

The bird we gave to earth without a thought.

 

Wither? We buried it in the brush.

We did not know we’d  miss its dancing in the dusk.

Reviews

[kmartell]

I like the nest in the tire rut, it makes the rest of the poem more real. here in Vermont I was walking in the woods last fall and the woods was quite and empty. I mean not a single partridge, or squirrel. i theorized (i wasn't sure) but thought it might have been because of the huge fields of corn nearby where they dump fertilizer... anyway, dancing in the dark is strong. i am thinking that you could rewrite this, somehow, by not mentioning the bird so much. i mean i do the same thing, i repeat a lot. i was told by a good writer on this sight, that you can say or give a word to the poem and it will be stronger being said once.... that isn't meant to be a bad criticism. overall you have a real ability, a natural poet. very striking when read.

[Bree Potter]

I visited Vermont once, years ago. Thought about going to Bennington College. You live in a truly beautiful state (although Texas does have a beauty of its own, too). Speaking of beauty and birds and squirrels, I'd say that we are finding ourselves more and more alone, partially because we don't properly cultivate land. Instead of living with nature and in its order, we subvert it and harm it (perhaps irrevocably). Anyway, thank you so much for your comments on my poems. I find them very beautiful and organic themselves!