Into the Deep

The description is in the entry.

I am certain that in a past life, or in another time, or in a separate or parallel universe or whatever... that I was a mermaid. Or a water nymph. Or something. 

I feel comfort in water, like in some way, I belong there. I have a connection with it that is hard to explain. 

When I was little and wanted to learn to swim, my dad took me out to the lake when we lived in Alabama on his boat and dumped me in. Reckless and careless and cruel, yes, but I wasn't frightened. I mean... okay, I was a bit. But I was more brave than anything. I kicked and pushed and flailed my arms, trying to keep calm, but also feeling the invigoration that came with the water. The feeling of the deepness below me, the other world I was suddenly apart of. After having not been thrown in all but 10 or 15 minutes, I was diving under. I loved feeling the chillier parts of the water under the surface, and the spots that were warm and comfortable from the sun. Many many times after that, I played as if I was a mermaid, as if I were some sort of fresh water one, or one that got lost from the sea. Though there were weird creatures that lived in that lake, I didn't mind them. Little and big fish alike would nibble at my toes, knees, and sometimes would even let me touch them back, but only briefly. They were curious and so was I. They did not scare me or repulse me in any way. The water was their home, and they were free. I understood them, to a point. They understood, I believe, that I was no threat to them. In a way, we were friends. 

Even the giant catfish that so many who lived near the lake feared, who never presented themselves but who I most definitely knew were lurking under the mud on the bottom of the lake... not once was I ever in danger. It was cool knowing that they were down there. It was kind of thrilling. It made the water more interesting knowing, and also not knowing. 

Just being near water puts me at ease. The smell, the life it brings with it, everything. It awakens a part of myself, my heart, my soul. It floods me and I know that at one time, somewhere, somehow, we were one.