The Last Strike

So maybe I do make castles out of dirt,

But does that mean that their words don't hurt?

Does that mean that their actions don't wound me somehow?

Now don't have a cow

When I say they're acting immature,

Picking on the smallest child

When they should really walk a mile

In her shoes.

What's left for me to lose?

The last shreds of self respect?

Maybe they're just jealous of my intellect,

Although I doubt it, I'm not all that smart.

My mind wanders from me like a loose go-cart,

It thinks and does things I don't want it to do,

So can we please keep this from me to you?

 

They don't see how hard I work nor do they care,

They're like a pack of wolves and I'm a small hare.

I wonder if they knew

What I go through

On a daily basis

Would that change their faces?

Would that change their minds?

Would that allow me to put our past behind

Us and start a new friendship?

Then what happens to all my hardships?

Were they futile? Do they matter?

Now I just sound like that mad hatter.

It seems like I'm just questioning with no answers,

The questions are floating in my mind like some of those ballet dancers.

Someone help me decipher my life?

I think I'm down to my last strike.

Author's Note

Could use some work. But it's what I feel. Even if it does just sound like a million questions. That's what's going on in my mind.

Reviews

[Steph K]

Questioning is always a part of life, especially when we are faced with the harsh realities of our world. You portray this so well, in your perception. The paradigm shifts from the collective voice of questioning, 'Would that change their faces?
Would that change their minds?" to your own personal voice is refreshing. Great work!

[dreaming dame]

:) Yea, the mad-hatter is a symbol of questions. I like this. I wonder a lot of these same things. :)nice write.

[Jack]

Hi Suzy, this is truly wonderful, well done; a beautiful write.

[Zachary_James]

Powerful words i love this great work!

[misha]

This is good. I like the idea behind the writing. Great job!

[Bailey C. Writing]

I think everyone has felt like this at some point. This is a relatable person, where anyone that's ever been through this can feel what you feel from the first few lines. Sign of a good writer right there ;) I liked it though, it had a depressing charm to it (I mean that in a good way haha)

[Alicia Hirshey]

I can understand and sympathize for what you are going through. The questions you are asking are some of the same questions i ask myself on a daily basis about past friend, the ones who left on good terms and the ones who faked their way into my heart then tore it to shreds. this is an amazing poem with a lot of feeling. I like that.

[SOUL LESS]

They say, before u judge someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away and you have their shoes. :)
There a few typos here and there (like decifer: decipher*).
What I can Decipher, as you yourself put it, is that you're doing the deadly and utterly futile self- pity thing. They, whoever are not blind. They can see. They dun want too. And if u're right (about which i have my gravest doubts) in thinking they dun care tuppence about you, they never will see. You have to be strong. Ditch the last strike approach. You still have, probably, a long life to live. :)

Yeah...it could use some work. The rhyme is forced in parts, your vocab is perhaps lacking. *shrug*

[Silent Knight]

Very nice. You have some good talent.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the poem. You asked questions most of us ask and want answers. The only logic I see in my life is wife and children. Work seem to become a sick game of a sort. Thank you for a excellent poem. You open the door to many questions.
Coyote

[brenda]

dang! awesome dont worry youll figure it out susy !:)