Me? That's A First

I'm totally head over heels for this kid. Let me be ^.^

I never thought that any of this would happen to me

I'm all too sure that it's all a crazy dream.

I guess fairytales do come true

Because there he comes with my glass shoe;

We think feelings like this only happen in movies and books,

One sweet line and I was totally hooked

It really is as fun as it looks,

Yet I feel he tripped me all to fast,

Let's just hope our feelings of lust last.

 

I don't think he'll be able to handle me when I bring it,

And if he can, I guess he'll just have to wing it.

I guess my swagg's just too much

Because he's all too tempted to touch.

This seems like such a childish game,

Yet I really want our feelings to stay the same.

Damn; he's a cutie

Yet he thinks I'm a beauty,

And when I talk to him, I turn to mush and feel like such a girl,

I think if I play this game much longer I'm gonna hurl.

He makes me sleep with a smile,

I guess he passes that trial,

I really want him to be mine.

Please give me a sign.

Author's Note

Childish love, feeling like you love him when you know the feelings might not last.

Reviews

[quinfinn]

very nice rewrite!

[brenda]

oh ish susy i can go relate to this *sigh* so many times i felt this i hope he doesnt break your heart this is a cute poem! love the poem!:)( even though you showed me this in history class i still love it!) agree with quinfinn!

[Allie :)]

I think that this piece has a kind of way too uptight flow to it.
This revoloves entirely around its rhyme scheme, which is one of the reasons why I think that this piece needs so much work.
You wrote this in a rush, and it too a pretty hard blow because of it.
There are definetly some really good ideas in it, but the way you projected your thoughts was terrible.
Take this down, think about it some more, and let it sit. It can only get better :)
I sound like a total b***h when I post comments/reviews, but I'm just being honest!

[quinfinn]

i think this is a beautiful and moving examination of feelings of self and questioning
the motives and intentions of one with whom you have shared more than you
are accustomed to sharing. nicely written and honest.