Tinges of Crimson

Hatred runs through my veins
Like blood travelling to each organ
Like oxygen to my lungs

My eyes fill with red
That coats everything
and leaves it all with a tinge of Crimson

Reviews

[emipoemi]

This is quite poignant and profound. Really tugs at the heart. You should be careful, though with repetition, for you always want to save the most powerful lines/imagery for the later lines. The only repetition that should be done is such which continues with a pattern or such whose repetition escalates the power of the poem. For instance: "each organ" (in Stanza 1) should be "my organs" (for that echoes the possessiveness and plurality of "my veins" and "my lungs"). In Stanza 2, there's some unwanted imagery repetition (the kind that mars the integrity of the poem), for by painting the image as "my eyes with with red" and then end the stanza with "a tinge of crimson" is quite repetitive (also, "everything" in Line 2 of that stanza, is bland). My suggestion here would be: "My eyes fill with tears/That coat my world/With tinges of crimson". That way the power escalates, for it's not just tears you're shedding, but by that "crimson" at the end, it fully drives the "bloody tears" notion home. Well done overall!

[SariahM]

I'm sorry something like this had to happen for you to write this, even if not, best wishes. The simplicity really gets the point across.

[Jackie]

The Red. Seeing red, feeling, breathing fire. It can be consuming.. Thanks for the share