A post about depression

I'm going to be very real on this post because I feel like some people can relate. I don't want messages when it's seen from people saying the same s**t they do to everyone because funnily enough it doesn't really fix things. I know people are there.

It's funny.. You try and rash out and tell your friends that you're depressed. That you can't go on. But they all over look it, call you an attention seeker... No wonder why you can't tell your family. They'd say the same.

You go to your room and sit on your bed or on the floor, stare at the ceiling or out the window and think.
It's scary.. Being alone with your thoughts.
You breathe in and out slowly. Contemplating.
You've been in medications to try and help the depression. To try and numb the suicidal thoughts and the things which others over look as childish problems. They're f*****g huge right?

You're scared and alone. People tell you they're there but where are they when you tell them that you aren't coping?
They're with their other friends laughing about what you've confided in them.

You put your pills in your hand and go to swallow them. Only three or four to really numb the hurt.
You pass out and it works for a while until you wake up throwing up, sitting in a cold sweat....

This has been my experience. You all say that everything has to be fine because I have people who support me but damn am I alone. And damn am I scared. But I'll never run to you and tell you that. I'll just shrug my shoulders and mutter "I'm fine."