Seven Years Before

Story of Jack and Breelynn

I was thirteen when I first fell in love. Many would say that that’s insane and crazy that someone so young could feel as much emotion that love came with. In my defense, though, I wasn’t the average thirteen- year-old. I never made friends my age, because I didn’t feel like meddling with their immature minds. So, I spent my time making friends with sixteen, seventeen, and eighteen year olds. At thirteen, I had everything planned. Everything was fine, and when Jack came along, things turned amazing. Jack Medina was sixteen, and a handsome sixteen year old boy, at that. His jet black hair was long for a boys’, and went over his ears, then parted to the side creating bangs that side-sweeped over his forehead. He was much tanner than I was, but when I laid eyes on him, I could have tripped.

I was with my friend, Allie, heading to a small gathering in our community. My last boyfriend, Brendon, had moved away. Our break-up was quite messy, and I was still stuck on some of the harsh words I had said to him. I felt like Brendon had to hate me, though. I had to make it easier for him. Allie introduced me to Jack, and he shook my hand. Immediately, he had me laughing. We quickly came close. I remember talking to him about Brendon, and how guilty I felt.

“My boyfriend, Brendon whom I’ve been with for a year…” I started. “He's going through a lot with his family. So, I let him go, so that I wasn't holding him back from them. He called today after a week without talking. I was happy that he did, but I had to make him hate me somehow. So I did everything in my power to do so.”

Jack was all ears. “What did you say?”

“I accused him of leaving me alone, and blowing me off, and all these things I know aren’t true.”

“Well, I understand why you had to let him go.”

“Yeah, but I need him to hate me.”

“You can’t make someone hate you.”

“Yeah, but it’s for the best. I know that sounds weird, but I need him to be angry with me. At least to the point, where he doesn’t talk to me.”

“He's still going to love you, and even though you don't want him to, he still will. Maybe it was best that you guys aren't together, because you both were hurting, but why hurt the guy more? I'm not blaming this on you, but imagine how he feels.”

“I know, Jack, and I feel horrible for it.”

“Things happen for a reason. Maybe it was all for the best, but I’m still sorry. I can’t imagine how you feel or how he does.”

“The thing is, though, the whole time this was going on… he never denied anything. He never denied hating me.”

“Maybe he never denied it, but I know for a fact he can’t hate you. I think he still loves you.”

“Why would he?”

“Even though we barely know each other, I know that you are amazing. Why would I spend my time talking to some random chick I met a week ago? But really, don't put yourself down because he left. It's just one guy. You may think he was the one, but if he was, he'd come back. Maybe he'll figure that out soon, if he is the one.”

“I want to move on. It's not like I can't. It's not like it would take me long. I loved him. But not as much as I should have. I hate that I hurt him...but I'm sure it's what he would want, right? For me to be happy?”

“Of course, unless he was a f*g who loved to see girls being hurt. But anyways, you are going to move on. And don't worry; I'll be here with you to help.”

Jack helped me in the most beautiful way possible. The more time we spent with each other, the more I realized that the reason Brendon had to leave was to make room for Jack. It was the night after I had my last conversation with Brendon. It was 3 in the afternoon, and Jack and I were sitting in the clearing near our neighborhood.

“Uh, so I talked to Brendon.” I announced.

“And?” He asked, turning toward me.

“He said he never loved me, and that he didn’t need me.” My lip was trembling at how harsh Brendon’s words were, and Jack wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m so sorry. You’re too good for him anyways.”

“I guess.”

“No, you should KNOW.” He claimed, lifting my chin up with his hand. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

I slipped my chin out of his grasp and looked away from him. I was getting too nervous to speak to his face. “And what is he missing, exactly? I can’t give him anything more than anyone else can.” I turned back slightly in his direction, but I wouldn’t look him in the eye. He whispered, but I could still hear him.

“He’s missing your brains, your humor, your everything.” He spoke a little louder. “You’re really amazing, Bree, and I’m just saying that to make you feel better.” I looked at him. His brown eyes shimmered as the sun caught them. Everyone I had ever cared for had always left me, and not just the boys. I had never had a real friend beside me. I had never had anyone to stick around.

“How can I believe that when everyone I’ve ever loved has left me?” I asked.

“Because they don’t know what they’re missing, which is my point.”

“I bet you say that to everyone.” I scoffed.

I looked at him, and he looked at me. The air turned serious, and slightly chilly. He let his words trail right out his perfect lips. “What if I told you that I didn’t?”

I gulped. My stomach fluttered. It was like one of those scenes in the movies where it’s finally the time where two lovers confess their love for each other. I had grown to love Jack, and I was just now realizing this as the air stood still. I finally spoke after a moment of silence. “Then I might wonder why only me.”

“Then how about if I told you it’s because you amaze me?”

“Then I might wonder how I amaze you. Hypothetically, of course.”

“It just amazes me how I could be friends with someone so quickly. It amazes me how funny you can be, even if you are feeling down. It amazes me how I could get to know you so fast, yet we just met. It amazes me how you can be so strong, even if there's people that leave you. You're just amazing.”

My breath caught. My whole life of being ordinary and I was amazing to someone? If I was dreaming, I didn’t want to wake up. “No one has ever looked at me that way.”

“Maybe I’m different.”

“Well, I would say so, considering… you amaze me as well.” I started my confession. It was only fair. I thought of the reasons to list as he did in my head. He smiled after I spoke.

“You know what else amazes me? The way you make me smile. This whole time I’ve known you, I’ve had sore cheeks from smiling because of you.”

I smiled, bright and big. “Well wanna know what amazes me?”

“What?” He asked, as I stared straight at him, building up the courage to let it all spill out.

“The way that you can make me happy, when I feel the lowest of all. The way you make me literally, laugh out loud. It amazes me how I feel like I've known you forever. It amazes me how, I actually believe you when you tell me I'm amazing, when I believe no one else who says that, not even my best friend. It amazes me, how I could even appeal to you. And...it amazes me, that I even amaze you.”

We both sat silent for a long moment, but then he spoke. “Would it scare you if I said that maybe… I was falling for you? Hypothetically, of course.”

I smiled. My heart fluttered. Brendon didn’t matter anymore. No one else mattered. Right now, Jack mattered. I was thirteen, and I was falling in love with someone three years older than me. In someone else’s eyes, it was crazy, and irrational, but in my eyes, it was the most sane thing anyone could ever do.

“No, Jack. That, hypothetically, would make me happiest.”

“Then, I’m falling for you, Breelynn, and quite quickly, I might add.”

“I’m right here to catch you, but I think you might have to catch me first.” I had always been the factory of cheesy lines.

“You always seem to be falling.” He teased, aiming at my obvious clumsiness.  “But, I’ll catch you, and I promise I won’t hurt you. In any possible way.”

I believed him.

Then time passed. We spent every moment we could with each other. Making the best memories I could have made with anyone. Every second I spent with him, I fell more in love with him. It was November 28^th, when he first left. He hadn’t informed me, that he, like Brendon, was obligated to move. He also hadn’t informed me of his drug abuse. When I wasn’t around, he was out with his friends, innocently smoking pot, and he was hooked to the feeling it gave him. Was I not good enough anymore? Before he drove away, he left me with a note. “Don’t forget that I love you with all my heart, no matter what.”

I can’t remember how much I cried.

Nine months went by. I remained in contact with his best friend, Clarissa. We would talk over the phone and on the computer. I would have her tell him that I loved him every chance I got. As time went on, I got better. I was healing. I missed him, but I was getting better.

July came around. I had turned fourteen in April, and it was summer time. July 17^th, Clarissa called me. We had been in a fight, and it was out of Clarissa’s character to call me first to apologize. My mind automatically went to Jack. “Hello?” I answered. “Breelynn…” Clarissa started. Her voice was shaking.

“What’s wrong...?” I said, my hands shaking.

“Saturday night… Jack was walking home from Robbie’s house.” She started. “He was shot.”

“No…” I breathed. “No. No. You’re lying. Damn it, Clarissa, this isn’t funny.”

“You think I would lie about my best friend’s death, Bree!?”

I dropped the phone, and the battery fell out. I didn’t even try to hold myself together. My parents were asleep, and they didn’t know anything about Jack. They didn’t even know he existed. They couldn’t. I cried. I eyed the backpack that held a full vodka bottle that I had snuck away. I hadn’t planned on using it until I had some friends over, but right now, I didn’t care. So I drank, until I couldn’t feel anything. I couldn’t feel my face, or my legs, and I could barely see. And the whole time I could hear Jack’s voice saying, “Breelynn, stop.”

Jack no longer existed to the world, but he was in my heart.  I learned to find comfort in that. Months went by.

I was fourteen and a half when I fell in love for the second time.

Reviews

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This is one of those stories that will twist around the reader's emotions. It goes one way then aother and another and in my opinion that is a really good way to keep your readers hooked. =) Great job.