![]() Chapter 3: Is she really in the dark?A Chapter by breaking_heart“Would you like me to give you two a minute?”
Ethan asks me when we get to Dad’s grave. I nod
politely and he steps back. I place the crappy, store-bought flowers on his
grave. It’s late and dark. Most people would be frightened, but I’m not. I’ve
never been afraid of graveyards. To me, they’re peaceful. Hundreds and hundreds
of people lying in the ground; asleep forever, never to be disturbed again. I
bet they’re happy. They don’t have to suffer anymore.
“Dad, I miss you. Nothing’s the same without you.
Mom still won’t talk to me. She just yells. Nikki hates me. They both blame me
for what happened. I don’t know what to do. Spencer is stressing himself out.
You left big shoes for him to fill. He’s trying his hardest. He’s living at
home for me. Ethan is going away for a month. His great-uncle died. He has to
go to Italy for the funeral. I’m going to miss him. What if his parents like it
there and they don’t come back? Dad, I’m scared. I love him so much. I can’t
lose him too. I love you, Dad. I have to go now. I have an exam tomorrow. Wish
me luck. I love you. I’ll be with you eventually. Soon, I hope.”
I finish saying goodbye and adjust the flowers.
Ethan is waiting on a bench a few graves away. He sees that I’m done and starts
walking towards me. He says he can’t hear anything I say from there, but I know
he can. It doesn’t bother me. It’s nice knowing someone can hear what I’m
saying to Dad.
“I love you, Ethan.”
“I love you too, Kendall.”
“I’m going to miss you a lot.”
“I’m going to miss you too. Will you be okay while
I’m gone?”
“Please come back. Don’t stay there. Please.”
“I’m coming back to you no matter what, even if I
have to swim back.”
I close my eyes and hug him tight. He’s my
boyfriend. He’s my rock. He’s my world. He’s my love. He grabs my hand and we
slowly start to walk back to my house. It’s not a long walk. It only takes 15
minutes. It must have rained while I was sleeping. The light from the street
bounces off of cars and windows. It seems to light up the ground. It looks like
a scene from a movie. Sometimes I wish my life was a movie. If it was, then I
know there would be a happy ending. Me and my lover will be reunited, and we’ll
live happily ever after. Roll the credits.
****
When we get back to my house, Ethan sends me
upstairs. He tells me that he’s going to bring me a surprise. I know what it
is, but I’ll act surprised anyways. While I’m waiting, I set up our favourite
movie on his computer and turn on the lamps on either side of my bed. I quickly
change into my pyjamas and crawl into bed. A few minutes later, Ethan comes in
with a tray holding two hot chocolates and a bowl of popcorn drizzled with
chocolate; my favourite. I thank him and take my mug.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“I’m glad I’m here too.”
We start the movie and settle in. I wouldn’t say
that I’m happy right now, but I’m as close as I’m going to get. Being with him
is magical. He seems to put most of my problems on hold. I can only smile
around him. I mean a real smile. Not the fake smile I use around Aria. Maybe I
could smile for real if I told her. Maybe she can help me if I tell her. But, I
don’t want to worry her. I’ve known her for so long and I know she wouldn’t be
able to sleep. She would start to drive me crazy if she knew. It wouldn’t help.
It would probably make things worse. I think it’s best if only Ethan knows.
That sounds good. She’s not too in the dark anyway. She knows about the
cheating, the abuse, the bullying and the texts. She just doesn’t know about
the cutting, the panic attacks and the internal emptiness. Actually, I bet
she’s seen the scars. They’re kind of hard to miss. Maybe she knows more than I
thought.
© 2015 breaking_heart |
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1 Review Added on August 7, 2015 Last Updated on August 7, 2015 Tags: sad, depression, depressed, suicide, suicidal Authorbreaking_heartToronto, CanadaAboutI am going through a hard time and decided to write. I'm not a good writer. I'm 15, so I'm not too experienced. My punctuation will be sloppy. Same with my grammar. Please excuse that. Thank you more..Writing
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