Envy

this poem was written for a very good friend of mine. his poems are nothing short of amazing & i told him one day that i envied the girl in his poems. he told me they were not written about any particular woman but now the pieces that he writes are for me

He wraps his arms around you
He's holding you close
Telling you you're the girl he wants the most
He slowly takes your hand
Your fingers intertwine
Walking past a kitchen
where you both just dined

Lit by candles, splashed with roses
Undressing you piece by piece
Exploring things he'd usually miss
He loves you with all of his heart
He tells you with every breath
every kiss

You're the girl in his poems
You give him such bliss
You're the girl that I envied
With every touch and kiss
You were the girl of his dreams
Until lil' ol' me

He calls me his sunshine
says his heart skips a beat
Now I'm the girl he's holding
I wonder who envies me�.

Author's Note

I think it's very unfinished it just started coming out and i had to write it before i lost it let me know what you think thank you.

Reviews

[Lena M. P.]

A clear storyline here with a good punch for an ending. The flow of the poem is a bit choppy at times. Nice imagery and a dash of humor, tongue in cheek.

[Michelle Tarnowski]

Bre,
Sometimes the best pieces come that way. The mind starts writing long before the hand has a chance. I write that way all the time, the words start flowing and I do my best to write quickly.
This piece had a clear pace to it....smooth, unhurried, deliberate. Lovely flow and imagery. You have made this very relatable and I found it easy to visualize the scene taking place. Beautiful write!

[Devilyn]

I like this poem, its good. I like how it tells a story =) good work!

Also, thank-you for the review on my piece

[-K]

i liked it. tells a good story and makes you see from both the outsiders and your point of view. keep writing. good work!