I realize now

a realization of a mess up

I realize now, that I pushed you away, just like you did to me, but so much worse, you always realized before it was too late, but thats where i messed up, i didnt realize till now, i pushed everyone away, i stopped talking to those who i should have talked to, the one person who can fix things, who can put a smile on my face even if I cry, my best friend from long ago, I can not even claim to be the best friend anymore, and it tears at me, thats all I seem to be able to do, yet i can not even do that right, I am sorry i failed you, I am sorry i hurt you, I am sorry i pushed you away, please just talk to me again, it does not have to be like old times, I just need my friend back, I will do anything, you name it, just come back, and if not I do not blame you in any way, I am a horrible friend, horrible person, can you ever forgive me? If you read this, please let me explain what all happened, what all I did, remember eye fluff ew...