The Gift Shop

i knew a girl from a haunted gift shop

said it was spooky, but she liked it a lot

and her old grey cat became friends with a ghost

a little old lady - he liked her the most

i’d always visit the girl from that store

she said no amount of oil would fix that door

and the wind makes the entire place groan

but that’s okay, it’s the only place she can call home

i knew a girl from a haunted gift shop

said it was spooky, but she liked it a lot

but the gift store doesn’t open anymore

and they say that the girl had a bad fall

i missed that girl from that little gift store

she told me one day that she can’t open doors

but she walks through the walls and claims she can fly

and she comes over to see me all of the time

i know a girl from a closed-down gift shop

she’s a little bit spooky; but i like her a lot

Reviews

[Ben Barton]

A solid rhyming structure never fails to bring joy to my heart. I also enjoyed the way you switched from shop to store with each stanza. Whether that was intentional or not, I liked it all the same.

Unfortunately, I'm not blessed with a critiquing mind, so I can't offer any constructive advice on how to improve, or anything like that. All I can say is that I liked it, and that you should keep on writing.

[Brenda Woods]

Thank you! It was intentional (partly because I was struggling to find anything sensible to rhyme with shop, haha). Thanks for your lovely words - I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Ben Barton]

Haha, therein lies the eternal pitfall of rhyming; word choices!

[Brenda Woods]

Definitely! I tend to avoid rhyming for that reason; I'm trying to work on using rhyming patterns more, though.

[Jacob Clifford]

Hmm. Interesting poem. I like the idea, the air of mystery, and the full circle ending.

[Brenda Woods]

Thank you :)

[Ruth]

I love the form of this and the idea...beautifully done...the visuals lure the reader right in :)

[Brenda Woods]

Thank you so much!