That's What I Am Ch.1

A Chapter by brandipeck

This is a story that follows the life of a 16 year old girl name Lux. Join her in her journey to get better for herself and her loved ones as she moves away from everything that was hurting her before

1...

I’m going to let you in on a little secret, just because someone has a smile on their face does not mean that they are happy. I’m Lux Wright and I have been battling depression for quite some time now, nobody really knew up until a few months ago when I decided to numb the pain with a few pills, slightly more than your average dose. I ended up in the hospital and my parents went crazy, asking if it was their fault and what could they have done to prevent it, it all felt like a dream to me but to them it was very real. Apparently they assume that by moving their 16-year-old daughter away from the scene of the crime we can start over and try again, that’s how I ended up in Seattle.

~~~

I stood out on the front lawn by the car as my mom packed the last of our things, the moving truck already took most of our stuff but I could tell I would still be squished in the backseat of our black Jetta Sportwagen. My dad walked outside and locked the front door, I turned around to get one last look at the house I’d never see again and got into the car. As my dad started the car my mom started talking, here we go.

“Lux, I hope you’re excited for the new move! We will be leaving California May 28^th and arriving in Seattle May 29^th, isn’t that something!” She sounded like she was faking her happiness.

“Oh, yeah, I’m ecstatic mother. I get to leave the place I spent my whole life to go live somewhere that I don’t know anyone at all.” I snapped back. I didn’t mean to sound so rude but did they honestly think that by taking away my friends that I could somehow magically be happier?

“Come on, it’ll be cool. It’s an adventure and we’re all tagging along.” My dad chimed in. He was definitely the parent that understood me more, but right now they both seemed so clueless. I sighed loudly and shoved my headphones in my ears, only fourteen more hours to go.

Eight hours into the drive we got a flat tire, that’s the type of luck my family always seems to have. My dad called the emergency car repair service and they told him that they wouldn’t get to us for another hour, terrific.

“There is a diner right there, why don’t we go grab a bite to eat to kill some time.” Mom suggested.

“That sounds like a great idea, Lux, any protest?” My dad asked.

“No,” I said, “I’m actually really hungry let’s go.”

My parents both smiled at each other as if they’d accomplished an amazing task by getting me to agree with them on something. I hate how they’ve changed, ever since the accident they treat me like some other person, it’s like the ghosts of overprotective and unusually happy people have possessed my parents. I followed them to the diner and we got a booth. My mom and dad started talking about my dad’s new job so I tuned them out and played games on my phone until my food arrived. I got pancakes, it’s the perfect food item for any time of the day, the one thing that went right today was my selection of food.

Just after we got back to our car the roadside assistance truck pulled up. The man had a stubbly beard and wore a shirt with the name tag Archer, he looked young maybe 24 or 25, I admired his beauty from a safe distance as my dad made small talk with him and my mom chatted with my grandmother on the phone, telling her we would be there a little later than we had imagined. I guess I was staring for too long because my mom snapped me out of my gaze by smirking at me and talking a little too loud.

“He’s cute, isn’t he?”

“Mom! Quiet down, he’ll hear you.” I whispered as I pulled her closer to me.

“You should ask him for his number.”

I gave her a confused look and said, “You do realize you’re telling your sixteen year old daughter to go up to a grown man and ask for his number.”

“Well, I know you won’t do it, so I think it’s okay for me to say.” She said back with a smile on her face. I started laughing and she did too. Wow, I forgot how good it felt to have a genuine laugh with my mom, ever since the accident she’s been trying to be so careful with what she says to me. I’ve told her a million times that she doesn’t have to watch what she says and that I’m still the same girl I was just five months ago, maybe she’s finally taking my advice.

I woke up in the car four hours later, my mom was driving now and my dad was asleep in the passengers seat. I tried to move the bag beside me but it was to no avail, so I just readjusted the way I was sitting. I looked at my mom in the rearview mirror, I noticed how sad her eyes looked and I wondered if she was just tired or if I really did cause them that much pain, I never meant to hurt anyone like that. Just as I was about to try to go back to sleep she spoke.

“You know Lux, we are really trying here,” Her voice sounded so quiet, she probably didn’t want to wake up my father. “We just want to make you happy, but so far nothing we’ve tried has been working. I know you have a lot going on but so do we, how do you think we feel knowing that our little girl was so sad and we had no idea?” Now it sounded like she was trying to hold back a sob.

“Mom,” I said unsure of what I was going to say next, I noticed a tear roll down her face and suddenly it was me that was trying to hold back tears.

“We love you, you know that don’t you?”

“Yes mom, and I love you guys too. I will get better, I promise you that.” I dozed off again after that, I wasn’t that tired but I couldn’t bare seeing my mom hurt so much, I never realized I caused so much sadness. I wish they knew that I did realize the effort they were putting in, I just didn’t need them to treat me like I constantly needed attention like a new puppy. It was in this moment that I decided I will get better, and that the promise I made my mother was not empty whatsoever.

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