Chapter 1.

This chapter may have you confused, the main character is confused and i wanted the reader to feel like this character.

           As i open my eyes to see a violet, dark, gloomy sky. I see no clouds, I see no stars. I don't see a hot blazing sun burning down. I don't see a dark quiet moon giving out any light. This Isn't the sky I know. "Where am I?', I ask myself. I lay here on my back in what seems to be sand. The type of sand you feel on your toes at a lake. Not the feel good sand, not the enjoyable sand. The clumpy uncomfortable sand. "Sand?" I questioned myself to what exactly it was. I grab a hand full then drop it. I stand up to look around and see dead trees spaced, what seemed to be around thirty feet from each other. I see nothing else. I look around again, Just that dark, quiet sky and the dead, spaced trees . "Where am I"? I ask myself again. I start to walk towards one of the trees,  out of confusion on what to do next.  Every step I take I ask myself "Where am I?, Where am I?, Where am  I?, Where am I?. The tree gets bigger and bigger as I get closer. I reach the nearest tree. This tree was much deader, much bigger, seemed more wise then the other trees. I walk under its dead, creaky, odd branches. The branches seemed to be reaching out to the sky, like they were crying for help. This tree was so dead."Can anyone hear me!" I yell. Then is take a seat under this old, dead tree. Under this old dead sky. On top of this old dead sand.

             I can't remember anything that has happened to where I would be here now. I remember my family. My beautiful wive. My favorite part about her is her long, brown, curly, perfect hair. Not a dry humid hair, not a worn out old hair, just perfect. I also loved  Her beautiful brown eyes. I always tease her about her eyes being the color of poop, so she must be full of s**t. She would always chuckle, then smile with those perfect white teeth. She could be a model, why she isn't? I don't know. I love her anyways. I remember my son, how sick he is. The doctor's just had told us he didn't have long left. It's been, I think 2 weeks now since we last heard the news. That's the last thing I can really remember, but I remember us not believing a word the doctor had said. That kind of news is to hard to believe. Especially when your kid is only 5 years old. Little guy had brown eyes just like his mom's, and my dirty blond hair. I remember who I am. Tall, slick, dirty blond hair. Blue eyes. I remember I am 23 years old, still feel so young. But I couldn't remember how I got here, or what had happened the day before. Like my memory was erased. I lay my head down next to this old tree, under this dead sky, on top of this dead sand, and slowly fall asleep.

        I awake to that same quiet sky, those same dead trees, this same dead sand. Hoping I was dreaming the whole thing. Of course I wasn't. I begin to feel fear, who wouldn't feel fear, fear of maybe being lost, fear of not seeing my family, fear of not getting out of here. "Help! Can anyone hear me?! I yell again. "Allo", I hear a voice and look around. "Hello?" I ask hoping to get another reply. "I ed allo, do you aught see me?", the voice replies again. "No, where are you?", I ask the voice. "dis ed tree buhin ya.", I look back at the tree. I must being going crazy, I see the tree's eyes, just like human eyes but carved into the tree. It's mouth, just like a humans mouth. "Don't be scured," The tree tells me not to be scared. But here I am in front of a talking tree. I pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. I had to be dreaming. "Wh..What are you?" I ask the tree. "I?, me? Well I'm uh tree.", I knew that it was a tree. I look around to see the other trees. "No, only me, I'm de only one hat talks". The tree spoke to me. "What?", I ask the tree confused and scared. "What? Wat do ya mean wut?" The tree asked me. "Where am I? What is this? How are you talking?", I began asking the tree question over question. "Calm down ya, I ont kno where ya are, I ont know ow I talk, I ont kno what tis is", The tree answered. His language was hard to understand. "ut' I can elp you out ya?" The tree offeres me help. I stand there in amazement, disbelieving. "With what?" I ask the tree. "Se, der ar other people round ya, jus walk ut I need you to elp me ot as wel.", I was confused to what the tree was asking me. "What do you mean? I asked the tree. "I ant you to kill me.", The tree asked. I stood there with a dumb, shocked face. "Kill you?, Why, I can't." I told the tree. "I ben ere so long, with ot a thing to do ya, each day feel like ten ears." The tree spoke to me with such sadness. Like living his live is torture. "How am I suppose to kill you?" I asked the tree. "Cut me down.", The tree replied. "With what? I have no saw, I have no axe. How am I suppose to cut you down?", I told the tree. "Look up ere on my branch, get it." I look up to see a axe. "Won't it hurt you?" I asked the tree. Thinking with every cut from an axe, wouldn't he feel the pain. The chops from it? "Yeah, It ill, ut not as bad as tis livin, just cut away and on't top, o matter wat." "Ok", i told the tree. "Promise me ay?", "I promise." I grab the axe afraid of doing what I was about to do. I pick the axe up slowly off of the dead sand. "Your sure right?", I asked the tree. "Yeah", I swing, the tree cries out in agony, in pain, in torture, I start to stop. "No, on't stop, jus kill me", The tree begged. I began to cry from the pain i was hearing. But continue to chop. How long this tree was going to take to chop down I didn't know. But every swing I take, is another cry out of pain.

              Hours later, after it's torturing wishes were granted, he falls. Smiling the whole way down. I fall as well from exhaustion. The tree never did help me like he said. I'm just glad it was over with. "Nooo!", I hear another vo ice, "No, no, no, no," It keeps calling out no. I run towards the voice. "No,", There he was. After hours of torture, after hours of pain, after years of misery. The tree. "No, there is no way out, there isn't", The tree's voice much more normal now. "No, no, no, no" Over and over. "What happened, I just cut you down , I swear, Am I going crazy?!" I ask myself. But all I get out of the tree. "No, no, no, there is no way out. No, no, no, there is no way out."  "What is wrong, what happened?" I ask the tree again. The same answer over and over again. I began to walk away. "Walk as much as you want, do as much as you can, but you are never getting out." The tree finally gave me an answer. "Where am I? What is this place? Explain this to me." I demand the tree to give me an answer. "I, on't know.", the tree's voice was back to how it was the first time we talked. "Why does your voice keep changing?" I ask the tree. But I get that answer. The same one I have gotten several times now. "No, no, no, there is no way out." I turn around and began walking. Hoping to find a way out.

        What feels like a couple hours later, the sky still hasn't changed. I guess wherever I am, the sky don't change. As I'm walking I began to think of my job. A contractor. How my employees were doing without me, probably none of them showed up. As I walked more and more, I finally seen something in the distance. What looked like a house. "Please let there be people.", I said out loud. Then started walking towards the house. Closer and closer. Finally I reach the house. A three story building, a beautiful, white house. Made out of wood. A big red door, lots of windows. Even a garden leading up to it. It was a dream house. I knock on the door, and began ringing the bell. No answer. I knock some more. Still no answer. I reach for the door knob, to see if it was unlocked. It is. I open the door slowly. "Hello?" I yell out. "Is anyone here?", I walk in and close the door behind me. Then the bell rings. I must have been hearing things. Then knocking occurs. "Knock" "Knock". I walk to the door slowly. Wondering how the door was being knocked at, I was just out there. I open it up slowly. "Hello!, welcome! welcome! welcome! A visitor! I haven't had a new visitor in ages! Hello!." A lady, with real old fashioned clothes, a big black hat. A long black dress. A cane. She looks in her 40s. Long black hair, long black eye lashes. I stood there not saying a word. "Well how rude, I knock on my house to a stranger being here, and can't even get a simple hello, or how do you do." I was shocked, and uncertain what to say. "I'm sorry, hello. I'm a bit lost, and confused." I tell the lady. She begins to laugh. "Oh my boy, we are all lost, we were all confused, at a time or two, I'd ask you what brings you here, but I don't even what brought me here." The lady seemed to be just like me. Lost and confused. "But I have been here a long time, I will tell you that. I have never once gotten hungry, not once sleepy, not once thirsty. Don't get me wrong, I can eat, I can drink, I can sleep. But only if I choose to. I love it here." The lady rambled on. "Where is here?" I asked her. "O, well if you haven't figured that out yet, I'd hate to be the one to tell you." She answered back. "What do you mean?" I ask her. "Well, I'm not sure of what or where. But everything you see out there. The sky, the sand, the trees. It all seems to be dead. Right?" The lady said to me. "Yeah it does. What does that mean?" I ask her. "Well, if I'm not mistaken, then, well." she seemed hesitant about answering the rest. "I Don't think you handle it, I don't know where we are." The lady said. "You were just about to tell me. Tell me please.". I tell the lady. "Obviously, we..we are dead. 

 

Author's Note

help with the grammar, help with what I can do better, I feel like i got a good story coming along, just need a big of advice and guidance from some of the more expereinced book writers.

Reviews

[S Sanders]

I'm the least efficient grammar expert, but there seems to be some minor issues with tense; some sentences are in present tense (as i open my eyes to see a violet, dark gloomy sky), and some are in past tense (I questioned myself to what exactly it was). I tend to do this too, but it can be confusing when reading aloud. If you're gonna start w/present, then keep it that way by maybe saying, "I question myself as to what exactly it is; I grab a handful then drop it." There are some instances were words are left out--minor reread, edit type stuff. The story in itself is going places, though. Definitely had me wondering where they were; I assumed the lady was going to say in hell or something since she kept telling him he wouldn't be able to handle it if she told him. Overall, I like;-)

[ScarlettTheDreamer]

Nice start. And the grammar is good, don't worry. only this line in the last para: she seems to be scared to answer the rest, I don't think scared is the right word. maybe this is better: she seemed hesitant about answering the rest.
And you seem to write numbers as numbers, when you really should write it in words.
the start is great, can't wait to read more :)