True Love

Just a look at part of my book.

Couples need to step out of their comfort zones. This is the place where true love happens, the unknown. Couples who insist on keeping strict boundaries in their relationships, who do not trust their relationships to stand the true tests of intimacy, these couples do not reach to the depths of love. These couples, of which I speak, may even have a positive outlook on their relationships, but deep down their hearts long for something more.

What should people in relationships do to reach the peaks of true love? One way to move into the unknown is to abandon rigid routines. Routines are good when you want to make sure the kids are in bed on time, or when you are trying to meet a deadline at work, but to reduce love to a routine is to destroy it. I would not, for example, schedule specific times for making love.

Unfortunately, I know of couples who make love at the same time and place every week. This practice is not healthy in any way, from my standpoint. To a certain extent it must feel like slavery because even if you are hungry and craving a hamburger, you have to suppress your appetite so that you can take care of business in the bedroom. In other instances, your sexual energies may be at their peak, perhaps after watching an erotic romance on the television, but if these moments do not match up with the schedule, you cannot have that sexual release.

Therefore because sex is essential in achieving the magic of love, it should be alive and spontaneous. Sex should reflect the dynamism of a relationship: it should be flowing and have varying degrees of passion and emotion. People may have personal preferences and individual needs, which is fine, as long as the practice is not mechanical and respects the quality and sacredness of love itself. Sex is a doorway to true love, so it should be treated as such.