Three Verbs

a well-dressed mess,
I am merely a man with
a sinister past seeking redemption.
bitching, venting, & ranting--
three verbs which bring peace and
temporary relief to a mind bound in chains.
with flaws like these they're a necessity
for the perpetuation of my own sanity.

a potent addiction to words
mixed with the use of these verbs,
writing is my outlet-
my prime reprieve,
my superlative release
in pursuit of an escape from my reality
which was once capable of compelling
my lips to crease into a smile,
but now only fills my chest with the tension
of a thousand cold-sweat soaked nightmares.

writing injects my mind with lucidity
while I seek a return to actuality,
providing a necessary flow of
thoughts powerful enough
to keep these demons composed of
crushed, lined up pills and
endless liquor bottles at bay.

I feel as if a genius today.
I love every letter, word,
& line that I've written.
the feeling is fleeting, though.
tomorrow I'll think this s**t worthless
and I'll consider deleting it all.
but I can't part with it--
parallel to my utter inability to
forget and let go of this
fading amatory connection
which once gave me hope,
as well as sex that left scars,
both cerebral and somatic.
I loved her so f*****g much;
if I'm being honest, I still do.

as a parting favor,
do not mistake the words I write
with those of apathy and despair;
they sting off the tip of the tongue,
but they come from a place that's sincere
and filled with more than mere goodwill.
I simply have a crestfallen
and contrite perspective.

this, too, will
pass with time.
or so they say.

more @ rantedtirades

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the poem. I like the flow of thoughts on writing and life.
"I feel as if a genius today.
I love every letter, word,
& line that I've written."
Many set of lines stood out in the poem. The above lines were my favorite. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry and thoughts.
Coyote

[Muse]

I like the following two lines best, it sets the pace...


a well dressed mess,
I am but a man


Despite the facade, many of us walk around in a vulneralbe state of mind. It's hard to cover and clothe what we feel on the inside. Yet we have an option to purge it all through art...poetry...writing....it is an endorphine to have such a creative voice...but sometimes it stings with a pleasurable pain...missing someone...our thoughts and words can hurt for a lifetime.

[Bertie]

An interesting write, different from most of the stuff I've read recently...There are aspects of this that are really very good :) I like that you have written what I wouldn't call poetry but spoken word...This is the kind of poem (with editing etc) that should be performed... I think it would be even more powerful if you were speaking it out on stage to people...The only thing I would say is that it is utterly transparent..but I suppose thats the point of a rant isn't, its supposed to be blunt and indelicate...But I think you could still be powerful while at the same time internalising, by not just being angry and swearing...but I suppose thats the point of a rant again! Spontaneity and explosion of emotion...But I really like this ! These are only minor things and personal preferences of my own that I need to learn to control! Maybe give this a listen if you get the chance, this is what I meant by spoken word, I recon this is well on its way to being something like this :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkDZwOe7drg

[Bertie]

I just read this back and realised how much I've wittered on ! Apologies but I find it very interesting, it's not something I read very often..

[bpark]

I get what you're saying about it being transparent and filled with vulgarity, believe me I noticed haha. Yeah, that's just kind of the style this was meant to be written in. It's not your typical poetry, it's more free-verse. I do plan on tweaking this poem in the near future, though, so thank you for the advice I really do appreciate it. I'm sure it will come in handy on the next edit.

[bpark]

after watching that video, I understand more what you mean. That guy is good. How would you recommend taking a poem like this and turning it into that, though? I wouldn't even know where to begin

[JustAnotherDreamer]

I don't even know what to say. I really like it. It's raw and choppy, but it has an emotional fluency that you can simply run over in your mind. It's like reading actual feelings from the heart; it might seem jumbled up and seriously unique, but in the end it still has rhyme and reason, and it's simpler than one thinks. I really like this piece of yours. Kudos to you.

[Circe]

hey.... really cool write... I think it's funny and funky.. I'd call it poetry..... really well structured rant, but still poetry.. I actually love reading thoughts like these on the fly.. they all connect in my mind.. it's a talent to reveal so much of what you're feeling and thinking with such a creative flair... and apply wit, attitude, current social issues... I think if you were to develop further... you can go deeper into the psyche and really just let your mind rip on every observation. Love this style, and that's the honest truth.

[bpark]

well now that I have the right poem up.... thank you for validating my sub-genre of poetry. If you read some of the other stuff I've written you'll see I write your standard type poems as well, but the ranting style poetry is just me, you know? It's just so much more real to me, less fluff, fewer bullshit words sloppily selected from a thesaurus. Don't get me wrong I love all types of poetry, but this is my thing. And thank you very much, I plan on continuing to write the likes of this one until I get professional. I just hope there's a market or an interest in this type of writing, cause honestly I haven't seen that much of it that had substance. I'm going to review a couple of yours tonight but have you ever written anything in this style?

[Circe]

yeah I can understand the ranting style..... think it's quite effective.. you can even make it more brutal.. like tearing the senses kind of thing. I'm not sure if I've written anything like this, probably not.. most of my poetry is just ranting but yours is a different style :)

[helloCharlie]

It has a flow, that is one thing I can say for sure. I am personally not a fan of rant-like pieces so I cannot say much. However, I can put in a few words. I recommend working around the language a bit. Coarse language is like a double-sided blade, when used right it can add to your piece but at the same time it can hurt your piece. One way this can happen is by making the piece sound forced. Often course language sounds forced and makes it sound a tad in-genuine. Writers often think that the addition of course language makes their piece sound genuinely emotional but it often doesn't. Anger does not necessitate course language and it can make a piece sound rather immature. What I recommend is using adjectives that add depth to your piece. Lines like "you junkie piece of s**t" may sound witty but it isn't. I would avoid lines like that. I can see where you are trying to take this piece; however, there is so much more you can do to makes this piece really pop. Happy Writing!

[helloCharlie]

Nice rewrite. It is much more coherent than the previous one. The additions you made added much more weight to your piece. The flow did improve, but a few tweaks could still be made. However, that is something you will just have to read through and figure out. It is not something I can point out. You have to read it to find them. But of course the tweaks I am talking about is more for being picky then necessary.
Happy Writing!