The confused mind.

A Poem by Ben

Confused thoughts.

Again post sin. Trying to deny the guilt. Wife two kids. My blood has spilt. I can't think. My mind is on the Fritz. Static dumbness.

Overwhelming and denial come to mind. Is this what happens everyone time we let loose?

Is that the definition. The escape. The break. The acting out. Or is that a prison in it self.

Phone. Games. Static bringers. Much harder to get into anything these days. Black. Despair. All to common friends. Mask inconspicuous all to familiar.

Even in writing I hide myself. I fear the light of what is true. I fear to give myself a pat on the back. Lethargy heaviness sorry to see you again.

You tell me to stand. I know. But still am I weak? I am. The waves of the sea always take me in the end. That is what the ambiguity is for.

This type of thing you can't say out loud. Who takes it seriously. Does anyone take it to heart? Or is it just another normalcy of the current events.

Parading the weak of heart. Showcasing the emotional. Vague vague vague. Always vague. But you know what I am saying. Think. This is you. I'm writing for me. But you. Vague vague vague. We are all vague. You don't know what you are feeling. Why so judgmental? Stop. The schizophrenic mind. But this is normal. Feeling and thinking at least two things at once.

You ask me to pray. To say the words. If I only would realize that he is listening. Hung up. Laid out to dry by the past. At what point do we move on. Or do we pretend like it goes away.

This s**t is depressing right? This is how I feel sometimes. I know I am not alone. All these words to describe a fleeting feeling and still not do it justice.

I'm back sorry I had to take a piss. I am drunk and high but back safe in bed. I guess art forms lend themselves to substance abuse. Look at the movies.

You will think. What the f**k is this this guy saying? To you I will say. You feel or have felt this confusion. I'm just writing how you feel. ( if you believe in sin).