AN ODE TO THE CENTURY PAST

That was the age of despair, disrepair
but this is now, the New Utopia.

That was the time when we killed off our muses
throwing their remains to the ravenous dogs.

Our innocence disemboweled, our hopes quartered
with five hollow-point bullets on that cold december night.

When six million replaced six six six as the accursed number
of all eternity and
six million nameless faces, six million faceless names
were extinguished for that greatest crime of all -
Existence.

But this is now, the Neo-Utopia.

That was the age of despair, disrepair
When raven-black sun  
threw rays of shadow upon the earth and
giant bullfrogs ate pygmy antelopes
hooves, bones and all.

But still we fought on, hoping for meaning to appear
yet when it arrived, it was only in our dreams
dissipating as soon as we awoke and tried to grab at its
gossamer threads with our crude, clumsy hands.

And this is now, the Last Utopia.

Reviews

[Poeticpiers]

Interesting and thought proivoking piece of writing. But my friend it is not an ode You may think I am nit picking but and ode must fulfil certain parameters Having said that you hade agood vocablaty and yoou use it well,
I am an old fashioned formalist and I much orefer structured and metered rhyming poetry Very few free form writers an get their message across with clarity but you did. Utopia is I think unreachable it is a dream byt without dreams we have nothing So dream on and hope

[W Alt. Burns]

loved every bit about it. you have a sharp wit.

[B. Lapinski]

excellent my friend

[Rhaie]

this would be more good for a prose...
i guess.. :)

good piece here. i like this best.

[E.L.C.]

Some strong points made, but I would consider turning this into a prose. It would make this so much more intense, really draw in, and spit the reader out.

You make some very solid points. Again I would examine from all angles, consider all the options. As with most things, there is no correct answer.

The word that caught me was "disrepair" I would hyphen it. I know it is correct, but it threw me a little when reading it. I know it was probably purposefully done like that, but i think it would still retain the punch, but just read more smoothly.

You brought a lot of questions to my attention with this. You said that existance was a basically a crime. But is it that we exist, or how we exist that is the crime? (again you HAVE to read that book ishmael, it will blow your mind). I would also like to see you delve into the ways inwhich we find meaning in our lives (example: religion, work, family. Though i would more focus on the religious aspect). Also, what is it that has driven our society to this bleak fate of self-destruction? Are people inherently evil, or is it that we have broken the cardinal laws of survival?

This is a good start, but i think you need to expand and go into more depth. This is why i don't write philosophical pieces, for me i would start writing and not be able to stop. There are so many mind blowing things to ponder, where does one begin or end?

[Bewitching Sensation]

innocence disembowelled

i love it

[Dice Rosenthal]

That was the time when we killed off our muses

throwing their remains to the ravenous dogs.

Our innocence disembowelled, our hopes quartered

with five hollow-point bullets on that cold december night.

When six million replaced six six six as the accursed number

of all eternity and

six million nameless faces, six million faceless names

were extinguished for that greatest crime of all -

Existence. "

I dont' mean to flatter, but these lines resonate, as if said in empty darkened halls. Lovely piece, if a bit disheartening. going in my favorites. Let me know when you post new work.

[Annelise]

This is really amazing. Such great imagry, you should be very proud of this, it is the best thing you've written. I may be wrong but I think this is about the holocaust.
"When six million replaced six six six as the accursed number

of all eternity and

six million nameless faces, six million faceless names

were extinguished for that greatest crime of all -

Existence."

Such a horrifying part of history. Yet we cannot forget it. If we pretend it never happened we will repeat history. I think people forget that Germany was a well established, moral, country. They weren't years behind America at the time. This could just as easily happen now as it did then. It is crucial that we never forget.

[dead]

Brilliant my friend! Though I wonder how much Utopia we have left in us; maybe just some vague nostalgia to that world we once felt was so wondrous and now we open the curtains and look outside and see war even where there is no war because the entire planet has become a battlefield; but still life continues as if we live in this perfect society. I watched a movie called Syriana last night, was brilliant; about corruption in the middle east conflict and the interests and corruptions of the oil companies and involved government factions; and I what was scary is that in real life the problem is probably much, much worse.
I read that apparently Stephen King urged J. K. Rowling not to kill of Harry Potter in her last book, I mean … what does that mean? He said it would not be good for the fans? What the … ? And maybe we should just rewrite Goethe’s Werther were they lived happily ever after at the end! And maybe we should tell the birds to build their nests with different colored twigs so that they have some art deco in their habitat!
We pride ourselves on our frontal lobe yet the vast majority of people out there look like they have had a lobotomy, they act like slaves in Plato’s cave.
Has the world really evolved that much? Has man evolved that much? Besides technology has anything really changed these past centuries?

Steven