REVELATA SUBTERRANEA

One day, my friends and I descended into the sewers underneath the metropolis and discovered the most unusual eel-like creatures lounging indolently on the concrete banks of the subterranean river.

There they were, lying close to the river's edge, only deigning to bestir and dip their heads languidly into the passing current when a particularly choice morsel of human waste floated by.

Their appearance overpowered me in its repulsiveness. "How could Evolution ever come up with such a horrible abomination", I remember wondering to myself, "How could Nature ever allow such a glaring insult against Itself  to arise and flourish, such a  travesty, such a betrayal and perversion of the natural order itself?"

Yet when I looked closer at these anathemas, a most astounding feature revealed itself to me. 

Somehow, through some playful whim of the Goddess who directs and oversees the evolutionary process, these overgrown worms developed human faces - their visages were those of people.

Nay, not just human faces, but faces of angelic beauty such that no earthly woman would ever dare to possess for fear of making the Gods spiteful and jealous.

This discovery was so unexpected and the radiance of their mien so intense that I stood transfixed, unable to take my gaze even for an instant away from these heavenly creatures.

Their eyes looked at me with all the cognition of a person, their facial expressions were those of  kindness, serenity and wisdom. There were two just over to the left, holding their heads close to one another and gazing deeply, just like two lovers, into each other's eyes.

Suddenly I felt an odd sort of compassion for them.

 

Reviews

[Bella Marie]

hmmm, this is different, makes an interesting read, very visual and the wording is perfect...
When I got to the end...I wondered...is that it?...I felt there needed to be more...what made you feel compassion for them?...what did you take away from this experience?

These are just my thoughts, by no means I am I putting your writing down..I really enjoyed it, just left me hungry!

Love
Bella
XXX

[Solst Rapture]

Suddenly I felt an odd sort of compassion for them too. For all of us beings that often look at each other without the cognition of people there is something to consider in this story. Within us all their is beauty and without us all, there is beauty.

I particularly enjoyed the rich diction you use in this story. It adds many dimensions to the readers experience.

deigning
indolently
bestir
languidly
mien

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

There is a fine line between beauty and ugliness - something I work with often in my artwork. You have captured that duality/dichotomoy well in this piece. How intriquing that they took on the human visage - a very interesting write indeed. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[Sara]

this is strange and metaphoric, as i have come to expect from your stories :-)

what i got from it is that sometimes the best people, the kindest, most beautiful on the inside, come from hard lives, hard families, and hard circumstances, and maybe are not the most beautiful on the outside. this seems almost like a parable to me, but maybe i'm just in the Bible kind of mood.

anyway, very interesting. you thoroughly held my attention. i wish i could remember my dreams well enough to write about them.
-sara :-)

[E. M. Murren]

Fabulous insight into the human psyche. Creation is beautiful in all its forms. We simply need to look closely. Beautiful story. Cheers.

[Annelise]

I've already told you how much I love this story. I considered all the opinions from other readers (the guide you sent me) and my opinion seems to disagree with theirs. Except for maybe the fact that you might have had a little to much to drink :).

To me the meaning is simple. There is an increadible amount of beauty in every living thing. It may take a while to see it, but who ever created us, created us to be unimaginably beautiful. It is up to us to see if we can find the beauty. So many things could affect that though, our out look on life at the time, our understanding of that simple fact, our stupidity in believing that something must be shiny, new, in your face beautiful. There is beauty in everything, it just depends on if one can look close enough. At least thats my own opinion.

[dead]

How beauty can be everywhere :)
I actually like the shortness of it; it actually fits the experience, the flash of the gaze, the blink of the eye.

Some people think Piranhas are ugly and nasty fish, I find them beautiful and fascinating, wish I could keep them!

What is beauty?
I watched a movie a little whole ago … it was sad at the end, about a young man who falls in love with a blind woman and they get engaged, then the woman gets to see again and instead marries the doctor who cured her.

Steven

[Bubo]

Wow.........a dream of yours?!?!!
I could picture it so clearly!

Just because something at first appears to be ugly, we should not be the judge of it by eye only...............look further to reveal more.

[Cursorblock]

Tag, you're it. You already know how I feel about this one. A very insightful piece full of interesting metaphors on so many levels. Not a traditional story in the sense of the word. Great in its originality and meaning.

[Jonah Hawthorne]

This seems more like the synopsis of the story you want to tell. It really could use some expansion, and badly. Good premise none the less.