REVELATA CELESTIA

I remember lying on a hillock as a small boy with some friends, watching the sky up above. We are having a competition - who would be the first to guess which object each passing cloud resembles most closely.  

There goes a giraffe, followed quickly by an elephant and a dog, one looks exactly like our History teacher, making us burst out in fits of laughter, another resembles for all the world that girl in my class on whom I have a secret crush and so I say nothing, letting my friend win that round with his claim that it looks just like a rotten potato.

Suddenly, the clouds redden and start to mold themselves into globular shapes that are identical in appearance to red blood cells. I can even see within each cloud the inner architecture that a cell is comprised of, the nucleus in the centre, the mitochondria moving around the perimeter.

Not only does the clouds' appearance changes, more than that, the very nature of their motion acquires a completely new aspect. Instead of the usual random, pointless drifting they are now moving with that unmistakable and inimitable sense of purpose that only living matter and all matter imbued with the breath of life, from tiniest protoplasm upwards, possesses -  the inner purpose that distinguishes sharply all of animate beings' behaviour  from non-living matter's conduct.

Off in the far distance an old grey-bearded man dressed in flowing white robes is making his way across a deserted field of grass in a manner that is most inconsistent with his advanced age. He skips like a playful boy and every few steps he jumps high up into the air and does a complete rotation with his decrepit body.

We hear him shouting out in high excitement; he doesn't even stop or look in our direction but his words are clear and seemingly reverberate all the way to the horizon:  "Don't you kids see! This is the long-awaited sign from Him! He too is The Son of Man! He too has blood rushing through His veins! I can now die in peace, knowing that the Prophecy has come to pass!"

Reviews

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

I liked the easy style of the story and its early flow. The transition seemed to hard, too quick for me. The conceptuals that you run throughout the story are nicely played. Interesting treatment on the subject.

Doc.

[alternative_be]

Wonderful peace! There is more between heaven and earth that meets the eye of most.
I particularly like the ending, the image of the old man. What a brilliant find!

[This Page Does Not Exis..]

Celestial Revelation

Perfect name for this piece, I think. My love of Celestial bodies attracted me to this piece by its title, initially. I love the idea of "incarnate beings", manifesting in the sky. What. A. Perfect. Way. For. Him. To. Come.

I love the innocence, and playfulness this piece begins with. It actually, allows me to envision a holy/angelic possibility all the more.

The fourth paragraph/stanza is absolutely, brilliant. Being a science-nerd, this an extremely attractive, intelligent section.

I have my been starving for a write-like-this. Love it...Can't wait to read the rest...

Truly,
Nancy

[Justin Tobey]

Amazing. I really like how it starts off as a few boys having fun together but shifts to a more cosmic, universal feel. I liked how you described the clouds as having a purpose. I often feel like things in nature that I'll see occasionally have a purpose, and clouds are the most common. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece.

Justin

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

The Universality of this piece speaks volumes - ah, to behold such a thing as the Coming of One...the remembrance of watching clouds if a favorite of mine for certain as it is something I partake in often. Thank you for sharing.
Light,
Siddartha

[Jason]

Very thought provoking indeed, however, I do feel like you might want to expand on this subject more. Great concept though. Thank you for the request.
~jason

[ElJays Nicholas]

AHHH!!!! It is a joy to come across your page, my friend. This story speaks to me how interwoven humanity and the universe are, that ultimately there is no separation (the universe in a single atom, if I may borrow the line from the Dalai Lama). Nicely done....

I like how it begins, and it has a very good flow and concept in the story. It is very pacific.

Celestial Revelation does prove its title through its message in the story. This was well written.

The ending could work limitless. It works well as it is, it can also be further expounded. It is a piece that many writers would crave to play with, thus making it a good piece for inspiration.

A great read

[Jerri]

Wow....really makes you think.

[Toni Prehoda Kahler]

I hear the title you gave this one speaking toward the poem's own revelation (as it should). I wonder if you are using the cloud sequence "instead of the random, pointless drifting...." to look at evolution/creation, because you then contrast it with creation terms: the clouds are now infused with sense of purpose, even "breath of life". Was that part of your intent? I can't tell if you are serious in this work, or are making light of things. The dance of the prophet seems a little too animated, toward crazy? I may be all wrong on this....

I go back to the beginning where the boy is watching the sky with his friends. You are a master at creating scenes I recognize and relate to in my gut, from the child-view. I love this part. I just wish it had gone on and on. When the clouds began to change their internal structure I didn't want to go with that imagry at all, it seemed that suddenly the boy had also changed internally, and something wholly innocent and pleasant had disappeared, to be replaced with......I don't know.....was it a mockery? The last paragraph came forth in a rush and sped by too quickly....

I am guilty of wanting this poem to do what I wanted it to do, go where I wanted it to go...but that's because you so skillfully drew me in at the beginning....

As others are, I am drawn to your work, you have a gift....