After Life

It was getting dark. I could hear the people around me fading. Was this the end? I could still see shadows. Mumbles from the shadows. Worry, fear, sadness. Just the emotion in the mumbles now. The darkness was growing. More and more. Then a flash.

It was bright. Nothing but pure white light.

"Hello. Welcome to Purgatory." A voice said behind me. I jumped a little and spun around.

"What?!"

"Welcome to Purgatory." The man said. At least what I could see of the man. The light blocked out most of him. All I could really make out is his head and shoulders. And his lower arms. Almost floating but attached. The light was blocking everything else.

"Purgatory? But purgatory doesn't exist."

"Oh, you're one of those. Well then, " he raised his arms "welcome to the next stage of human evolution." Then lowered them.

It was erie watching his arms. And his face. So clear. And all almost like they were floating. But I still couldn't get past the light. And it suddenly dawned on me. The quiet. No sound. Nothing.

"Do you hear that?"
" What? "
"There's no sound."
"Yeah, you get use to that. Took care of your tinnitus. Just nothingness now. Peace."
" Where are we? "
"I told you when you appeared, purgatory. Well, since you said it doesn't exist, I corrected to the next stage..."
" of human evolution. Right. "

I couldn't believe it. He said purgatory. The next stage of human evolution. "Why do you call it that?"

"Are you asking about the purgatory part of the evolution part?"
"Both. Why do you call this place...either one of those things?"
"Because that's what it is. It's the end. After life. Before the next. Purgatory for some, evolution for others. "
"And what's after?"
"I don't know. "

I was shocked. The quiet returned. How could this be. I was dead. "Wait. How do you know?"
"Well, I've been here long enough to know."
"How long have you been here?"
"Honestly, I don't know. There is no time here."
"No time? Then how?"
"Well, time doesn't exist here, but there are other ways to measure. I have talked to, uh...well, over 50 people to pass by. I actually lost count. Any way, I have seen enough people to know what this place is."
"Why are you still here?"
"Ha, funny. I don't know. Guess I'm not ready for what's after."

This was incredible. The after life. It couldn't be. Not even evolution could explain this. He was wrong.
"I don't believe you. This can't be. Evolution doesn't explain this. And purgatory doesn't exist. This is something else. We were...abducted. Or...I don't know, but in not dead. I can't be dead!"

I took off running. Away for the guy. "You won't get anywhere. There's no where to go. You'll just end up right back here!"
He called out as I ran.
I didn't know where I was going. There was nowhere to go. Nothing there. Just light. Pure white. Everywhere. No points of reference. No signs of anything. Just white light. I didn't know where I was going. I wasn't even sure I was running. I wasn't getting tired, so I continued.
Wait, I wasn't tired. Why wasn't I getting tired? I stopped. Why wasn't I tired?

"Hello again." It was his voice again, behind me. I spun around. "You followed me?!"
"Not at all. Lots of people have tried it. They run and then just reappear in front of me. Just like you when you first arrive. Always happens. Creeped me out the first time. But I got use to it."
"But I ran. And I didn't get tired. You didn't move. You're just as I left you."
"That's how it works."
"But...I didn't get tired."
"Yep. You don't get tired."
"Now what?"
"We wait."

Ironically, the silence was deafening. I looked off in the distance. There was nothing. I couldn't tell how much time was passing by. It was getting to me.

I looked back to where the guy was. "What do you do here?" He was gone. No wait, he was shorter. He was half his height. Was he sitting? "What happened to you?"
"I sat down."
"You can do that?"
"Yeah." There was a little sarcasm in his voice.
"Hey! I'm new to this!"
"Sorry." He closed his eyes. He seemed at peace.
"Uh...may I?"
"What, sit? Of course." I sat in front of him. He seemed so peaceful. Eyes closed, a pure calmness in his face.
"So...what do you do here?"
"Mostly I meditate. Either standing or sitting. Talk with who ever shows up. Watch them leave. Think."
"What's your name?"
"Sven. You? "
"Mike. Am I bothering you?"
"Not at all."
"So, you said you talked to over 50 people. What kind of people?"
"All sorts. From all places. From all times. That's how I figured out there is no time here."
"All times. Like when?"
"Well, there was the guy from the Civil War. The woman from about the time I passed. The Japanese Soldier from world war two. The guy from the second civil war, and"
" Wait. Second civil war? And a Japanese guy? "
"Yep. Funny thing, he said I spoke perfect Japanese. But all I could hear was his perfect english. He was surprised Japan lost. He was at the battle of midway. Died when his carrier was struck by a dive bomber."
" Wow. And what about that second civil war? "
"Oh yeah. That. That caught me by surprise too. Started a few years after I passed. The guy was a militia man. Died when his squad was ambushed by supply raiders. Evidently, after the election in my time, no one was happy. Riots and vandalism spread like wildfire. Supplies dried up, food and fresh water became scarce. It became a free for all and a fight for survival."
"Wholly cow. Sounds like I missed something I'm glad to have missed."
" Yeah. The details he went into were much worse. I learned then that I don't talk to much about the future to people who died before me. It can be upsetting. If asked, I will answer, but I refrain from a lot of detail"
"Wait, when did you pass?"
"2020."
" Hey, that was twenty one years after I...died. "
"Oh...well, you missed a lot of good...and some bad."
" Don't we all. "
"Touché"
When we stopped talking, the quiet was overwhelming. I had to keep talking with him to keep it from bothering me.

"So what was the worst guy you met? "
"That would have to have been the racist alcoholic guy."
"What's his story?"
"When he appeared, he still seemed drunk. He was incoherent and angry. I tried calming him down, but he just got angrier. Then he started to mumble racist slurs and finally jumped me, getting me on the ground. He pounded on my face, yelling incoherently. You remember you don't get tired here. Well, he didn't either. He must have got sick of hitting me, because he got up and started to kick and stomp on every part of my body. I learned that time that you don't feel physical pain. I did feel every impact though. I don't know how long it was, but as I laid there, watching, he never changed. He just got angrier. Then, he started to fade. And as he faced away, I could have sworn I heard him scream. It was erie."
" Woah. And the best? "
"Oh, that was the baby."
"Why?"
" It was different. I was just standing, thinking about...something, when all of the sudden I heard a baby cry. I looked around, then started to follow the crying. When I finally found it, I didn't want to pick it up. I tried to talk it into being quiet, but it just kept crying. I walked around, tried to ignore it, but it just continued. Then I gave in and went over and picked it up under its arms. It continued to cry, until I rested it in my arm. Then it started to laugh, and finally got quiet. I felt...happy. Like this was something I wanted. Something I missed. Then...a guy appeared. Long hair, beard, and a soothing smile. He looked at me, then the baby, then back at me. Then he held out his arms like he wanted the baby. I looked at him, then the baby, and started to feel unsure. I wanted to protect the child. Then he nodded and gave what looked to be a reassuring smile. I finally started to extend my arms to give him the child and he nodded again. After he took the baby, he turned around, and started to walk away. I finally spoke out asking if the baby was going to be okay. He glanced back and have a little nod. He again started to walk away and this time he started to fade. I hollered out, asking when my time was. I didn't see his mouth move, but I did see a smile, and heard the words "have patience." Then he was gone. That was the only time I saw two others here. It was wonderful . Every negative feeling I had was gone in a instant with him. He radiated love, happiness, relief, and so much more. "
"Who was it?"
" I never got his name. But...believers know. "
Incredible. He spoke as if it changed his life, or I guess, after life.
"Any other people that left a mark?"
" Yeah. There was the five year old girl, the preacher and the other atheist. "
"Tell me about those people."


"So, what happens when someone shows up?"
"They just appear. Out of nowhere. Usually in front of me."
"What happens when they leave?"
"They just fade away. Sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly."
There was the quiet again. This time he broke it.
"You've been asking me a lot of questions. Can I ask you one?"
" Sure. "
"What happened to you that brought you here?"
"Well, I was on my way to work. I'm a cable installer. Well, was one. Anyway, I was on my way into a house near an elementary school, when I noticed a little girl walking across the street. Up the road, there was a pickup truck coming. The driver didn't look like they were paying attention, and I thought it looked like it was going a little fast. I started to run towards the little girl, with the intention of grabbing her and continue running, when I stumbled as I got close to her. I was able to give her a shove, but the next thing I knew, I was rolling and stopped on my back, looking up at the sky. Then things started to fade. Then I appeared here."
" Wow! What a heroic way to go. "
"Thanks. Not how I wanted to go, but I don't regret it."
It got quiet again. I had to know.
" How...how did you get here?"
It must have bothered him. His forehead creased. "You don't have to answer."
" No, it's okay. I just don't like to talk about my self." He paused for what seemed like an eternity. "I gave up."
"You what?"
"I gave up. I stopped wanting to live. I went to bed one night. Didn't want to live aymore. Then woke up here."
"You killed yourself?"
"In a manner of speaking, I guess yes. I just stopped living. No more pain, no more fighting, no more sorrow. I didn't take any pills, no drugs, no gun to my head, no rope, just stopped."
I couldn't believe it. I never heard of such things. "How could you do that?"
" I don't know. I was tired, sick of everything. I didn't want to go on. So I guess I didn't."
"Why did you want that?"
"We all have demons we fight. Everyone goes through their own trials. I just...didn't want to face them. So I didnt. At least not on earth."
"That's rough man. But it was no reason to give up. Everyone goes through tough times. You can't stop just because it gets hard."
" It wasn't like that. Everything I did went wrong. Everything I wanted, I couldn't have. Yeah, there were good things, but as things kept going, everything just failed. I love a woman that was always out of reach. I tried to find someone, but failed every time. I couldn't go anywhere, my family was falling apart. I was falling apart. I was lonely, tired, and exhausted. Mentally, physically, spiritually. I just couldn't go on. "
"Did you go for help?"
"From who? My family couldn't help. They had their own problems. I had no real friends. And medical wise, shoot, there was nothing they could do without losing your freedom. It was all I had left. And I wasn't going to let anyone take that away. So, I gave up. And lost that freedom."
" Hey, I'm sure there was something you could have done. You should have tried. You should never give up. You should have kept fighting. Kept on trying. There was no good, legitimate reason for you to stop living. "
"I don't want to hear this." He turned and started to walk away. Instant going to let him. I grab his shoulder and spun him around.
"No! You're going to listen!. You think you hold the market on struggle and hardship. There are others that have it worse."
"We are entitled to our own unique troubles and you have no right to compare mine to others."
" Yeah, but those other people keep on fighting. They keep on trying. What did you do. You just gave up. You quit. And that's the difference. They keep on going, and you just said "DONE!" and called it." I looked deep in his eyes. There was a deep sadness there. A sorrow and regret I've never seen before. Then a year appeared. From his left eye, and slowly ran down his cheek.
"I'm sorry to be the one to say that to you. And I'm sorry to say this. You gave up on a wonderful gift given to you. One full of experiences both good and bad. With the potential to be something you could never imagine. Something so wondrous that you would never want to leave. But you left and missed out on so much, all because things were hard. "
He looked down and shook his head.
I embraced him in a hug.
Then it happened.
* * * * *
He faded away. Slowly. The pressure from the hug faded with him. It was nice. The second best experience so far. But he fadded away like all the others. I hoped he could stay, but we all move on. Have patience. This will be something to think about, while I wait for the next one.