Day One

Day one:
Tuesday, June 19th

I got a call this morning from my cousin, my uncle Doug passed away in his sleep. My grandpa is in the hospital and I am going to go visit him... I have to tell him that his twin brother Doug passed away. He took it fairly well. When it was time for me to go to practice, I need some extra time to think so I walked. On my way, I got a text from my boyfriend... he says he needs a break from things. I finally get through practice and get home. I get another call. My grandpa is in the emergency room, his kidneys failed, he has internal bleeding, his blood pressure is very low, and he is unresponsive. I talk to the doctors and they say there is nothing they can do for him and they don't see him coming out of this. They say all they can do is make him as comfortable as possible. They moved him back to his hospital room for the night and I stayed there with him holding his hand. It was 3:30 in the morning before I could get myself to leave. I drove myself home. I was tired and over whelmed and didn't sleep.

I feel like giving up on everything... its all meaningless if you have nothing to look forward too.

Reviews

[Be_You_Tifful]

I think the story line is good but I think it needs to be organized better with an addition of more detail. Its sorta choppy like it goes boom boom boom, for instance when u say you need to tell him his twin passes away and then the next sentence is how took it well. are you writing a book?

[Peaceworker22]

It's her journal. She actually went through this.

[Be_You_Tifful]

o ok well it said chapter that is why I was a little confused

[Peaceworker22]

It's okay, it's just a chapter in her life that she had gone through.

[Roxi L]

This is horrible! Im sorry this happened to you! And as this happened to you, it was my birthday. Stay strong everything will get better. :)

Writing keeps the dream alive
~V~

[frozensakura]

thanks and happy birthday, i hope it was great!

[MOON]

Poignant write read through it all interesting.

[Laura Maidah]

Comma splice and SPaG issues. I don't know if you want me to point them all out. The dots are unnecessary IMHO. A lot happens and it's condensed to a point where I wish there were more details and sensory images to flood a picture in my head. Concept is almost begging for it.

[frozensakura]

i don't mind if you point things out. it doesn't bother me. thanks for the review!

[Brittany]

talk about a bad day

[frozensakura]

yeah... really.

[Brittany]

true?

[frozensakura]

forsure

[Brittany]

oh heavens...I'm sorry

[frozensakura]

its ohhkay

[Ceos]

Morbid, but engaging. Quite a hook for a reader. Good to see that there is someone who sees that a books beginning doesn't have to be all sunshine.

[frozensakura]

life isn't always good sometimes you face troubles... thanks!

[STAR CHILD]

yes i agree this is quite a tragic beginning

[frozensakura]

thanks sis!

[STAR CHILD]

yw sis

[Maan]

Well! A tragic start of the story is always compelling to me, not to everyone. :) But lets see how it carries on. Hope for the betterment in her life, as like tragedies seems good and compelling from the distance, or in the books. But true you said about it. Let me quote your line.
" I feel like giving up on everything... its all meaningless if you have nothing to look forward to". Its 'to' not 'too'.
I agree.. this is how it feels.

[Rhea752]

deep breaths. things WILL get better.

[Midori]

Wow, I got so depressed after reading this!

[SlightlyOdd]

That's a lot to deal with i don't think i could put such a bleak aspect on things that'll have to be rough in sorry