Chapter 1

   "Damn it! Just shut the hell up!" I yelled back at them as I stormed out the door, takeing my little brother with me. Again, I had no time to change out of my sweats and my unstarightened hair was up in a messy ponytail.
    I can't have a normal day, can I? Is that too much to ask? Probaly. Well then again, what do I expect. I mean, I've never really had a day someone whould call 'normal'. My life, I guess you can say its anything but normal.

   Im the middle child. Parents are alwasy fighting with eachother and with Ando (when hes home). I hate him so much. He dosent deserve to be called my older brother. I feel bad for my little brother Ray. Hes only eight and has to deal with almost as much s**t as I do everyday. So when ever I'm around and they start to fight, I take him with me. Hes the only one who dosent hate me here... at least, i think. He can't hang with me and my friends. I dont want him to be around a bunch of metal heads, and at times, drunks. Not something hes ready for yet. I take him to our aunts. Shes nice enought to let him stay there, plus shes got a kid his age so he has someone to play with. I can't stay there, not anymore. I get bored.  

   "Are we going to Aunties again, Ren?" I heard Ray ask after we had walked about three blocks.

   "Yea. Be good, ok?" I handed him a little blue toy car with white flames painted on the side I found the other day and couldn't help but mess up his hair. "Well, here we are. Have fun kiddo."

   "I will! Promise! Thanks!" he beamed before he ran inside.

   "Ill be back tomorrow," I sighed before I walked off.

   Children are so easy to please, I thought to myself. Well, time to go. I quietly made my way to park on the other side of town. Schools gonna start in a few days... F**k. Don't want all the stress and drama. To much to deal with. Last year was such a pain. I sure hope as hell that this ones a whole lot better.

    Last year, I got into various 'fights' with people. In and out of school. Reason being, the very few I call my friends and I are different. We're not treated like everyone else. Just because they dont understand us or what we've been through dosent give them a right to judge us. I mean, they're probably just jelouse they dont have hair as great as mine. Ok, that sounded a bit gay.

   In the past three years, I've come extreamly close to commiting suicide. Not just once, various times. Often, i really do wish I was dead. But then again, who'd take care of little Ray? Um, nobody. Gosh, that kid brings out the little good in me. I force myself to be a 'good' big brother when I'm around him. I think im doing alright. I hope.

    In truth, I wish to feel complete. I wish i had someone who'd listen and actually care about me. Someone whos real, who understands me... a person who I could depend on. Someone who could depend on me. Yea, its a big world... but living in such a small town, I don't know if I'll find her. Damn. There i go again, feeling sorry for myself. I need to focus. Be more relistic. All i have to do is stay strong.

Author's Note

eepz itz short >.< oh wells... please tell me what you think >//<
first time trying to write more than just a poem... >_<

Reviews

[Roze Collions]

not bad i like it

[Kathryn]

I love it! I can realy relate to the part about being different in school - my group of friends are considered outcasts, but there are enough of us to fend off big trouble :) Great start, keep this level of writing up and you'll go far :)

[Calypso]

Full of feeling and emotion

[TJ]

nice hook
keep it comin

[Daytonight]

This is a great start! I really like how you are beginning this story. It grabs hold of the reader from the start. Leaves them wanting more! Can't wait to read your next chapter!

[Dr.Pepper]

a really great start, but you must continue editing. There were some instances where the sentence fluency came off as a little wordy. Other than that, you have amazing gripping first paragraph. It shows the sort of tone that you deliver within this novel. Message me if you want me to point out the mistakes. :)

Stay strong, Little soldier

[DontBlink158]

Its i great start. The only thing is describing the characters, i think you should add a little more detail. Other then that i liked it looking forward to the rest!! :)

[Cassiopia Summers]

it's a really good start. Sounds like it'll be a decent book. :)

[Florence]

You really captured his personality well here. I like how this story is going so far. :)

[Ashli The Amazing]

ha i like how you're trying to do it from a male's point of view. i liked it alot i can't wait to read more! ^_^