runaway

door locked behind
walk quietly in
take a left then a right

 

that lingering smell
we wish to forget
yet so hard to when
empty bottels just lay
scattered across the floor

 

unoticed so far, your safe
dont get caught
for you know whats next

 

just great...

you didnt see it

and kicked a bottel

you made noise

 

screwed up
once again
another mistake
start agian

 

grab hold of it
time to go
let the blood flow
let everything go

Author's Note

meepz

Reviews

[Kat]

Its alright things will get better soon hopefully ^^ i can't keep my promise to my friend but i'm managing to give up little by little (my problem not giving up as in that promise) just use it in as a motivation like "I'll to be stronger next time" or "I won't do it next time"

[Kiari Sabon]

love it

[~ Moonlight ~]

Quite sad! Good poem looking into detail.

[FugitiveBalloons]

You need to work on making your poems flow a little more. Also you have a few spelling errors and you need to capitalize your sentences. I think your intro is great and you use imagery well in this.

[Maya Storm]

It's a great start it need a bit of fixes, just look it over once or twice.

I love the idea of this piece.

[TheElfPrincess]

A good poem. I liked it. A few typos, as other people said, but it is very good.

[Fabian Franco]

This isn't bad. You have a few spelling errors but that can easily be fixed. I noticed that you are pretty young so you have time to improve and to grow as a poet. Keep it up.

[Cassiopia Summers]

Wow, for such an age this is a great poem. :) Not bad ladies, not too shabby. XD

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

This would be much better if not for the typos. :( I like the emotion and the feeling of darkness. There aren't a lot of details, but they aren't needed...in not many words, you did a good job of showing what the situation was, so that the reader is able to fill in the blanks as they choose. I agree with Call Me Blu that stronger language would make this more distinctive.

[Ciarraí Danielle..]

Very nice, this got me interested in a more in depth story of what's going on here, but it still was worded well enough to give me a good feeling of what was happening.