runaway

door locked behind
walk quietly in
take a left then a right

 

that lingering smell
we wish to forget
yet so hard to when
empty bottels just lay
scattered across the floor

 

unoticed so far, your safe
dont get caught
for you know whats next

 

just great...

you didnt see it

and kicked a bottel

you made noise

 

screwed up
once again
another mistake
start agian

 

grab hold of it
time to go
let the blood flow
let everything go

Author's Note

meepz

Reviews

[Mz]

Love it! For long I have not found a poem more to my liking. Good job!

[frozensakura]

thank you!

[Ama May Cooper]

Very direct, and very powerful. A harsh and raw piece. Filled with a kind of unsavoury twisted bitterness.
Interesting...and very well written.

[frozensakura]

Thanks!

[Archia]

I like the almost, bluntness of the sentences, it gives each one an emphasis as it takes a moment to pass onto the next. Nice expresson of the meaning too.

[Alskar]

There's a good few typos in there. I like your structure, though, the lines are sharp and snappy, which I love. It's vague at times and I'm not sure what the bottles represent, alcoholism, entrapment, overdose?

[Umar Hassan]

reminiscent of the beat generation. a stream of consciousness. a self awareness that is realized with a wicked tension. Good? No. Very Good.

[amdc101]

I love the way this is written.

[Clever Forever]

This is really good, I love the meaning and the way it's written.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Scary. I love the hanging ending.

[Kathryn]

I found this a little confusing, but the meaning was still there. Great work - you have a real way with words that I truly envy :) Well done :)

AFTER EDITING:
I get it now, and this is kinda creepy. I don' see why I didn't notice earlier, but re-reading I understood this perfectly. Great job

[Niki Wilson]

Agree wiith brooke knight good