Memories

Among the tides we sleep
the birds soaring above the ocean
the fish swimming in the deep
and the boats swaying in motion

There is no one there to listen
as she sits alone to weep
the tears upon her face glisten
the memories are hers alone to keep

Author's Note

Let me know what you think... and how to improve.
~ Chole <3

Reviews

[quinfinn]

i think the first line could be a little more sensible but, other than that this is a very nicely arranged, cleverly worded and lovely poem. just a suggestion: you could change the first word of the first line to "above", suggesting that you are in a boat and reinforcing the "swaying in motion" reference. just a thought. all in all a great write...

[joshua deathdealer]

Nice. I really like it. Nice imagery. Short but to the point.

[Eile MacIntyre]

It has a very good flow to it. And the words that rhyme are good. I like the words pictures.

[silentpoet]

sounds like the memories she's having are sad to relive In her mind.. I know that too well as I'm sure many others can relate.. I like this piece..

[Roze Collions]

i love it

[CharlesMonroe]

I love this (:
I love the imagery, and the meaning. It's sad and beautiful. Amazing write (:

[Yina]

I ike the way you can use your own imsgination to come up with where exactly she is. This was awesome!:) Great write:)

[samurai212]

your realyl good you know

[A.E. Surdam]

Awwww, it's touching. Very lovely and yet so sad. It is beautiful in its own right and touches the souls of others. Just so beautiful. :)

[Ashli The Amazing]

this poem has a lot of good imagery... i like it (: