For My Mama

This poem is under the "Family" chapter of my self-published book: Through The Eyes of Boo Kitty

Mama before I say anything I want you to know I love you so much

I see your age catching up with you creating difficulty in your twilight

My heart goes out to you even though I don't show it sometimes

Getting caught up in my own problems

Ostracizing myself from the people who care about me

I'm at a crossroads in my life right now and it's just hard for me to deal

In order for me to maintain my own sanity, sometimes I have to shutdown and restart

I can feel the universe drawing change to me

During these prayerful days I think about you often

Because the woman of Christ that I am today you made me…

I draw on your strength and experience to get me through these times

Walking up to my threshold in the bitter cold

I think to my self Mama you are still so strikingly beautifulYour skin looks like cappuccino, rich and smooth….flawless

Your eyes shine with wisdom and life and worry for your daughterI can see remnants of the young woman who had me at 25 the age I am now

Almost died bringing me in the world as I did my own baby girl

Mama you know you really did look like Diana Ross

In mahogany, your style and grace untouchable

It took me to become a Woman to understand your grind

It took me to become a Mother to understand your sacrifices

This woman who sang songs of Angels watching over me my lord every night

Prayed for her 9 year old child as "the curse" showed it's ominous scarlet hue

Mama I know it wasn't easy raising me

I was that free spirited, rebellious child you couldn't tell me anything

You were the career woman, track mom and PTA chick

Opening my mouth spoon feeding me Nikki Giovanni

Pushing me to read the works of Marva Collins

The genius of  Langston Hughes, Zora Neale Hurston and all of the great poets of the renaissance

At 12 ys of age you gave me "I know why the cage bird sings"

You always told me I could do anything Mama

It didn't matter that I was smaller than other kids or an only child

Because in reality, it's what you know that gets you where you want to be

It's the same drive that inspired me to aim high and join the army

My friends joked and called me crazy

But while the drill sergeants laughed and dubbed me mini me

I was maxing my pushup and sit up tests and kicking a*s on the M16

Accomplishing physical feats failed by men and women twice my size

At 25, now I really know the song of the cage bird

Now I'm the mother, father, provider and hustler the lover

All of these tools you gave me make me the woman I am

A survivor

It's all because of you Ann

My heart my blueprint you showed me what a good wife should be

A praying wife, a nurturer we are the neck and shoulders mama.

Taught me that you have to let a man be the head

Embedding the theory of a relationship with undefined roles is bound to fail

I know it wasn't easy raising such a free spirited daughter

Half and half I'm George and Ann's child

Stubborn like daddy, pig headed like you

But the beauty of Kiya is that you also taught me to be passionate

You taught me to be a good person and always true to myself

To do everything  from the heart and out of love

To treat as I want to be treated and always believe in the good of humanity

Putting my faith in God before any man

These values and ethics have brought me through

Manifested in the very fibers of my being

And made me the woman that you can be proud of whether you know it or not

Bridged me through times that I don't even want you to know of

Just know that even though we are 2 different people that I'm still you

I carry a piece of you with me everyday Mama

Success is a destination that has many different routes

Just as you woke up every morning, filling your cup over saying the 23^rd Psalm

I rinse my face in fresh water meditating verbally, "The blood of Jesus"

These rituals of faith I cling to just as you did

Before church on Sunday morning you would cry cooking breakfast singing "Thank you"

I play Mary Mary with my eyes closed, praising his name singing "I just can't give up now"

Mama everything that I am and strive to be I contribute to you

This poets soul that I picked up is a continuance of the dream that you left off with me

I just want to take it to the next level and make my own mark

Share my vision with the world raw and untamed just as you did

Believe and have faith and be thankful that my life right now is in the process of change

Don't stop praying for me because we ask for the same things

My mother my dear heart my soul

I love you so much I owe it to you to immortalize these words in your honor

I dedicate my life to you because to this day you still give so much

But the beauty of Ann is that mine isn't the only life she's touched 

I love you Mama…

Author's Note

I wrote this when my mom and I had a falling out. She knows that it's always easier for me to write my feelings instead of talking. We made up very quickly after she read this poem

Reviews

[N3v3r_2_L@t3]

I love it. I like the way you put your faith in it on the first stanza "Because the woman of Christ that I am today you made me�" I am a hardcore christian, and that really pops out at me. If I were your mom, I'm sure this piece would have made me feel better. You definately have some talent in writing. Keep it up=]