Tick, tick, death

Was kinda thinking about people who commit suicide. Had this vision of some beautiful girl sitting in her bathroom daring herself to commit suicide. Tell me what you think!

The clock is ticking.
Tick, tick, tick
She's staring herself down..
Tick, tick, tick
When will this stop?
This never-ending depression.
The bottle next to her,
With its acrid scent,
Beckons to her with promises
Of an uninterrupted sleep...
Of peace.
She's tired of pretending,
She just wants to be herself.
But the world wont let her.
She chooses the bottle instead of reality.
She takes a sip.
Tick... Tick...
Death.
Maybe now she can rest.

Reviews

[LittleMissSunshine :)]

You have 2 different subjects in this piece.
The fact that she's contemplating suicide, and the ticking.
I don't really understand why you would put the 2 together.
I mean yeah, it makes sense when you're reading the poem, but with the way you wrote it, it just didn't make sense in the grand scheme of things.

[Allison]

Haha, I don't really know either. It just seemed right at the time.

[Dove]

Really good poem its kind of sad but I felt every wordd. You did a good job on this.

[Dreamer]

oh well this is a very sad piece. I could feel that the writer has given up completely. Good write

[roy mccarthy]

alcoholism?
great poem.....!