Mistakes

today is not an okay night.
my mind is running a mile a minute, thinking of what you said & what you did & what we were going to do.
I was okay for a while. because we'd be friends & then at least I'd be talking to you.
but then I hear your name on the tv or I think about that time we sat and drank coffee at 3am.
and then I'm back to how I used to be.
I wish I had never asked.
I wish I had let it be.
and maybe things might be okay.
I'd be happy. somewhat.
I could sleep through the night without tears and sleeping pills.
I could be happy dreaming on things that might not be. but I'd be happy.
we'd be talking.

but it is what it is. so I'll stay awake here. my mind running a mile a minute. wasting time on a boy who's mind is already on the next prospect. who maybe never even felt the way he said.

back and forth, back and forth.

it's ok.
it happens. I just wish this wasn't happening again. not again. I'm not even sure I'm done feeling from the last time.

but here we are again. staring at stars through tear-rimmed eyes.
and I know you're looking at the same ones from Seattle now, but without the girl from home in your mind.

it's ok.
it happens.
maybe if I just keep telling that to myself I'll start to believe it.

Author's Note

hope to be getting some more stuff up here soon. I've been doing a bit more physical art than actual writing. hope everyone is doing well.

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

We need our reassurance more than anyone else's, don't we? That's the impression I got while reading this.. Often enough in our lives, we are at crossroads, to which only we we are the ones pushing ourselves forward 'cause no one else can... I really liked this piece.. Good work!

[K.]

Very true, thank you for the commentary! I'm glad you liked the piece, thank you so much!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You are welcome! It was a pleasure reading ☺

[Stan Lee]

"but here we are again. staring at stars through tear-rimmed eyes." Love that line! Gorgeously descriptive. Hoping this isn't happening in real life but it sure makes a good poem/story. Stay inspired! :)

[K.]

I love that line as well! This was real life but I am doing much better now hahah hope you're doing well!

[Stan Lee]

Glad to hear you're doing better. I'm fine. :)